


And

by SleepsWithCoyotes



Series: If/And [2]
Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Ending, Archival Fic, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Implied Character Death, Implied Character Reincarnation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7758760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepsWithCoyotes/pseuds/SleepsWithCoyotes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My friends came back from India, and all I got was this lousy Sanzo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And

"Hakkai, do something!" someone was saying, and that voice, oh yeah, that _voice_ made Ni want to stick around a little longer. Desperate and cracking, the raw sound of it made him smile despite the pain of seared skin pulling taut, nearly brought a chuckle bubbling up to the surface. He couldn't afford to laugh, though. His chest felt hollow but not empty, every breath digging ragged shards in deeper, and if he gave in to absurdity now, he'd be painting his laughter across the floor with every breath.

It wasn't so much that he minded dying, but he'd hate to miss out on the joke.

"Goku, I'm sorry," Cho Hakkai said, sounding quite a bit worse than sorry. He sounded drained, wrung-out and useless, his last reserves emptied in failure.

It was pleasant enough to listen to, Ni supposed, but seeing was believing.

Forcing his eyes open, Ni blinked until the view came into focus: the half-demolished chamber, the haphazard carpet of dead youkai, the four solemn figures gathered kneeling around a fifth. What had Sanzo called the last one?

Nataku. That was it. Funny, though...there'd been a war god by that name, hadn't there?

"Fuck," the halfbreed muttered, turning away to glare at what was left of Gyumaoh, which wasn't much. Not after the combined power of all five scriptures was done with him. Ni was surprised to be alive himself, but he doubted the surprise would last for much longer. His insides probably looked like a crushed bug's, and the irony of that was killing him.

His eyes slid off Gojyo's scowling face and drifted to Nataku's instead. When he considered his handiwork--he'd done this to a _god_ \--he felt one corner of his mouth drag upward in a painful smirk.

"Hakkai...?" he heard Goku ask, but all Hakkai could do was shake his head. Of course. They didn't make Demon-Killers the way they used to, did they? Just ask Nataku.

He'd been waiting for the priest to chime in, wondering which would win out: the man's dogged attempts at non-attachment or the stubbornness that insisted on doing things simply because they couldn't be done. It looked like it would be the latter, because Sanzo was starting to get that look again. The one Ni had seen when they dueled, when Sanzo had decided he would not be moved.

"You said Nataku was different. What does that mean?" Sanzo demanded, eyeing Hakkai intently.

"He's...I know this won't make any sense," Hakkai said, apology and frustration mingling in his voice, "but his body's too efficient. It's as if someone sat down and planned out the perfect way to make a living creature. If it isn't simply divine nature, then...whoever did it would have had to be a genius or a god himself."

Ni couldn't believe they didn't see it. He was looking right at it, and his eyes weren't as sharp as they'd been an hour ago. That kid Goku was still clinging to Nataku's hand like a distraught mother, and the sleeve of the war god's robes had pooled around his elbow, a joint that bore more than a passing resemblance to that of a wooden puppet.

He couldn't help it. It made cold waves of agony roll up from his gut to the backs of his eyes, but he laughed until he choked on it, spit blood and laughed again. Seeing the four conquering heroes jerk around to face him like startled rabbits didn't help.

"How the fuck is that guy even alive?" the halfbreed muttered doubtfully, looking like he wanted to pull his flashy weapon from the ether.

"So sorry," Ni drawled, concentrating on breathing, nice and slow. "It's a pity I'm dead. I could exchange my life for his."

"I'll show you dead," Goku snarled, dropping Nataku's hand and calling his staff to him. The boy would have flung himself right over Nataku's body to get to him if Sanzo's voice hadn't stopped the kid in his tracks.

"Goku! Let him speak," Sanzo snapped, paying no attention at all to the rage in Goku's eyes. It seemed his confidence was well-founded; Goku subsided reluctantly but obediently, never taking his eyes from Ni's. Sanzo just waited, glaring at Ni, and Ni could actually feel Sanzo willing him to cut to the chase.

He was tempted to balk, but he was running out of time.

"You need a genius," he managed in one breath, "right? And resurrections...are my specialty."

"From reading the Tenchi Kaigen scriptures," Sanzo probed narrowly, and Ni dredged up a breezy smile.

" _Years_ to decipher. You'll never fix that broken doll without me."

"Don't call him that," Goku said, more growl than voice.

"Easy, Goku," Hakkai said in Sanzo's place. Sanzo was ignoring his pet now. All his attention was focused on Ni, and while Ni could see the rapid play of thought on Sanzo's face, he had no idea what conclusions were being drawn or where they were leading the man.

 _Come on_ , he urged silently, _offer to heal me. Your friend might even kill himself trying._

He didn't mind dying, no, but it'd be so much more satisfying if _they_ minded it.

He knew the instant Sanzo made his decision by the way the man's face went utterly still. There'd been doubts before, calculation and consideration, but with a path set before him, all that went away. Sanzo's eyes held his for a moment longer, and then they flicked aside, sliding unerringly to Cho Hakkai: so patient and willing, waiting for Sanzo's orders. They were all his dogs, weren't they? Sanzo snapped his fingers and they fell right in at his heels. Ni had expected better.

He didn't expect Sanzo to reach for the scriptures clinging to his shoulders, ignoring Ni's warning. The topmost sutra rippled the instant Sanzo touched it, and when he slid his fingers between the two scriptures and tugged, the one he'd chosen went luminescent and insubstantial. Spooling into his hand in the shape of a rolled scroll, bound with knotted cords, it might choose to open again and it might not. Even circling the shoulders of a Sanzo, the words of a sutra couldn't be read by just anyone. Bound up, it was a test of will or faith, or both, which didn't make sense, unless--

What good did Sanzo think one scripture would do? Judging by their awed faces, the other fools thought something momentous was happening, but surely Sanzo knew better. The Seiten Sutra might hold the power of Heaven, but....

"Hakkai," Sanzo said, and they held each other's eyes for a long moment before Sanzo reached out and placed his master's sutra in Hakkai's hands.

Hakkai held it reverently, his expression both solemn and touched. Maybe he knew the story behind it, or maybe he took the sash across his own shoulder more seriously than Sanzo took the robe and scripture wrapped around his. The healer might even have said a quick prayer as he took a slow breath, composed his face, and reached purposefully for the scroll's knotted cord.

Like snakes recoiling from a flame, the ties that held the scripture closed unraveled the moment they were touched, and startled green eyes jerked up to check Sanzo's expression. Hakkai looked nervous and half-guilty, as if he thought there must be some mistake, but Sanzo just nodded at him, urging him silently to get on with it.

Hakkai bent his head, his hair obscuring his eyes, and delicately unrolled the Seiten Sutra, laying it across Nataku's chest.

It looked different now, but Ni had expected that. It always looked different depending on who held it, what they wanted it for. That was a sutra for you...but this was _different._ He'd seen cryptic Sanskrit written there often, snatches of genetic sequence and blueprints for machinery so advanced he'd had to find a youkai half machine himself just to operate it once it was built. Studying a sutra was like falling into a deep well that held the sum total of all knowledge, history and thought, and it took a wise man to sort the truth from falsehood and wild imaginings, but of all the things he'd seen in the depths of the scriptures, he'd never seen anything like this.

What glimmered across the page looked like lightning at first, but the liquid flashes were lines of text that curved themselves briefly into shape and then writhed, serpentine, into new configurations. Ni had no idea what the language was, but it had a bold, formal grace that made him think of age and secrets.

"Oh," Hakkai breathed, startled, and Ni frowned as he watched comprehension and hope light suddenly in Hakkai's face. "I see."

With a confidence that Ni would have thought impossible just moments before, the healer touched the dying boy's chest with hands that glowed first green, then white. He was pouring power into the fallen body, power he surely didn't have, but the sutra was glowing now as well, unfamiliar words silvering with radiance until they seemed to catch fire. It was the power that brought forth the light, the power of creation, but it had never been this clean or pure when he or Gyokumen tried to use it.

"I don't understand," he heard himself say for the first time since he was a child. His voice was barely there at all, but Sanzo must have heard him, because the man's head turned reluctantly his way, unearthly beautiful in the light of the sutra. _Girls don't like boys who are pushy_ , he remembered saying a long, long time ago, but he wished now that he'd pushed a little with this one, just once.

Sanzo's violet eyes were still cold, though. Not even the sutra's magic could change that.

Dying probably had something to do with it, but Ni actually found himself holding his breath, waiting for an explanation that would make sense of what he was witnessing. If anyone was cold enough to see the Truth plainly, it had to be Sanzo. 

Considering him with narrowed eyes, Sanzo curled his lip in a hard, humorless smile of derision. "That's because you're an idiot," the man said, his voice poisonously reasonable, and waited expectantly for a reply.

Ni felt the weight of Sanzo's challenging glare like a hand against his face, daring him to contradict, but he only smiled. "Idiocy and wisdom.... You know...I used to believe...they were the same...thing."

It would have been nice to know that he still had claws even on his way out, but what flared in Sanzo's eyes wasn't pain, not entirely. Not even by half.

"Me too," Sanzo said, his stare flicking down to the glowing Sutra, and Ni wondered how he could ever have thought that Sanzo's eyes were cold.

He didn't wonder about that--or anything else--for very long.

***

Hakkai had learned not to expect very much in life. The things most people took for granted--a roof over one's head, food on the table--often weren't even a consideration. They slept in Jeep, or there wasn't a table; sometimes there wasn't food, and then they did without until they reached the next town. He didn't expect to wake every morning, though he did his best to ensure it happened. He hadn't expected friends, but he'd gotten them anyway, and that kept him both grateful and humble. Expectation was, perhaps, a matter of degree...but he could honestly say that never in his life had he expected _this._

He'd touched a sutra before: the Maten Sutra, the one never far from Sanzo's shoulders, and then only in the course of duty. Healing Sanzo, or occasionally being thrown together in a fight. He'd always thought it was his imagination, but the Maten Sutra had always struck him as feeling slightly dangerous, unfriendly at the least, like a bad-tempered dog on a very short leash.

The Seiten Sutra felt the exact opposite in his hands, but that was the impossible thing. He, Cho Hakkai, held the Seiten Sutra in his own, stained hands, and it let him. And _Sanzo_ let him. It made him feel absolved and very, very small all at once.

Nor was that the only thing unexpected. Unrolled across Sanzo's shoulders, the words of the scripture had always defied close examination, either written in unfamiliar languages or making the eye slide off after only a word or two came clear. Even now, the gleaming characters writhing across the page weren't in any script he knew, but something in their twists and turns called to him, as if he should know it intimately. Familiar or not, it made no difference. He understood what it was telling him, and that was all that mattered.

He didn't know how or why, but he knew he'd been right: Nataku had been created, not born, though he was definitely a god. And the way he was put together...it was a work of art, so beautifully arranged that he was almost a joy to heal. Nataku's speed, his uncanny strength--it all made perfect sense, and Hakkai found it easy to intuit how best to proceed, his mind clearer than it had ever been. It was as if he'd experienced it all himself, the workings of a god understood from the inside out, and some part of him worried that he couldn't be meant to know this, that he'd get too curious and push too far and the scripture would slap his greedy hands away.

And that would be bad, because the power that was healing Nataku wasn't his. He'd given everything he had, poured the very last of his reserves into the attempt, but that amounted to a tiny spark that had been gone in the first instant. This-- _all this_ \--was the Seiten Sutra's doing, though it was his own will that drove it. He wondered if this was how Sanzo felt when he called upon the Maten Sutra and wondered how the man could resist using it all the time.

He stared blindly into the light collected in his hands, pushing himself to think only of the necessity that drove him. Almost. He was almost there.

He felt it when he'd done as much as he could, almost like the last piece of a puzzle snapping into place. Pulling his hands away from the sutra and Nataku's chest, he had a brief moment as the light faded to admire the faint color rising in pale cheeks, the war god's chest rising and falling in the steady breath of sleep.

"Hakkai!" he heard Gojyo shout as the world spun around him, and strong arms caught him as he slumped back, ears ringing. "Fuck!"

"I'm fine," he managed weakly, "just tired." Incredibly tired, in fact, but he couldn't stop now, no matter how appealing the idea of sleep sounded.

And there was something else he had to do.

"Goku."

"Are you all right?" Goku asked instantly, his face swimming into focus as he leaned closer to Hakkai. He looked guilty and scared, and that wouldn't do at all.

"I'm fine," he repeated, smiling as he tried to sit up. "And Nataku will be too, with a little time and rest. Thanks to you," he added, glancing over at Sanzo.

Sanzo's predictable reply was a scornful snort, though Hakkai noticed the man taking a close look at Nataku as he reclaimed the scripture. It didn't even bother to change for him, Hakkai noticed, merely crooked in on both sides when Sanzo threw it around his shoulders, where it curled into place like a contented cat. "You can thank me if we get out of here," Sanzo said shortly, and Hakkai nodded once. He remembered. That was why he couldn't sleep.

"Crap," Gojyo muttered, apparently remembering their predicament himself. "There's probably a million youkai between us and the back door."

"I believe I can help with that," a familiar voice offered, and though Gojyo stayed right where he was--propping Hakkai somewhat upright--Goku bounded to his feet with Nyoi-Bo in his hand. It was almost comical to watch him slump in relief when he realized who it was. Privately, Hakkai thought Goku's sigh of reprieve was likely to be premature.

Kougaiji looked positively grave as he stood in the doorway, his clothes spattered with blood, his eyes turned to the dead scattered all around them. Dead youkai, every one; his people, no matter whose orders they followed. Hakkai assumed that the blood staining the prince's clothes meant there would be no more orders sending those youkai to pointless deaths, but killing Gyokumen would have settled a personal feud only. If the odd truce between them were ever going to break, Hakkai suspected it would be now.

When Kougaiji lifted his eyes to theirs, the sadness in them didn't fade. It merely changed, as if to ask them how all this had happened, why it had ever come about. Hakkai didn't have any answers for the prince, but he wished suddenly that he did.

"I'm afraid I can only send you so far," Kougaiji said quietly, his voice empty of recrimination, "but I can have dragons waiting to take you the rest of the way."

Hakkai couldn't imagine what to say to such a generous offer, though he suspected Sanzo's ingrained suspicion would fill the silence soon enough. Instead it was Gojyo who spoke up first, his steadying hand tightening on Hakkai's shoulder.

"You mean you can't send us straight back to Chang'An?" Gojyo asked, overdone disappointment in his plaintive voice. "Damn. And I had the bar all picked out."

"That's all right," Hakkai was quick to add as Kougaiji blinked at them. "If you can send us back to the pass, Jeep will take us from there. He'll be angry enough that we made him stay out of the fighting," he added, wincing slightly as he considered the truth of his words. It was one thing to leave the small--but proud--little dragon behind when one didn't fully expect to bear the consequences. It was another to have to explain to said dragon that he'd been left behind for his own good. Groveling would probably be in order, on all their parts.

"If that's your choice," Kougaiji said with a decisive nod. "The barrier on this place fell during the fighting, so I can send you now, if you like."

"Fine," Sanzo said, rising smoothly to his feet. "Gojyo, get Hakkai up. Goku, take Nataku."

 _"Nataku?"_ Kougaiji repeated, eyes gone wide. Goku froze in the act of carefully pulling the smaller boy into his arms, but Sanzo fixed Kougaiji with a hard, level stare. After a moment Kougaiji shook his head, wearing the look of a man who didn't want to know.

The five of them stood close together as Kougaiji raised his hands, Gojyo solid and warm at Hakkai's back, Sanzo and Goku side by side, Nataku still and quiet in Goku's arms. Hakkai doubted he'd ever want to see this too-quiet room again, but he took a last, long look around anyway, suspecting that it was important he remember. The last time he'd been in a castle full of the dead, it had been for the best reason in the world, and the most selfish. This time he had the blessing of Heaven behind him, but it didn't make the silence any less overwhelming. That was what he had to remember, no matter what.

"May you have a quiet journey home," Kougaiji said by way of farewell, and Hakkai could feel the power gathering even before Kougaiji started his spell. Hakkai didn't truly suspect a trap, not from a man as honorable as the prince, but whether he killed them or sent them on their way, at least it was all over.

"Hey!" Goku said suddenly, his head coming up with a start. "Your mother--is she okay?"

Kougaiji had just opened his mouth to chant the first words of his sending, and the magic made his breath echo as he let it out in a slow sigh. He was smiling now, though, as if the interruption had been a welcome one.

"Yes," he said simply, then continued on in a rush as if he couldn't contain himself, his quiet happiness surging even in the midst of all this death. "She was freed of the stone just as you said. She's with Yaone now, getting to know Lirin. Your brother's guarding her," he added to Gojyo, and the unquestioning trust in his voice was both apology and acknowledgement.

"Guess she's in good hands then," Gojyo said gruffly, and Kougaiji nodded, gathered himself again, and began to chant.

Moments later, they were standing on loose shale, the narrow walls of the pass to Houtou Castle looming around them, a different kind of silence echoing in their ears.

"Well," Gojyo said, looking around with a faint wistfulness Hakkai suspected wasn't entirely feigned. "We made it. Now where's that--"

Something hissed at them from the rocks on their right, and Hakkai turned with a sinking feeling to find Hakuryuu perched on an inaccessible outcropping of stone, glaring down at them with baleful red eyes.

"Hakuryuu," Hakkai began solemnly, trying not to smile at the fierce picture his friend presented. Wings half-outstretched, Hakuryuu's talons dug into the rock with a splayed-toed grip, the tilt of his triangular head positively serpentine, the ruffled spikiness of his mane a cobra's flared hood. Hakuryuu hissed again, baring his sharp needle teeth, tail lashing angrily.

"Aw, c'mon, Jeep!" Gojyo tried, spreading his arms out wide. "There were youkai as far as the eye could see! Sanzo was chanting weird shit, too, and there was this huge, smelly dead guy--you would've hated it!"

Hakuryuu looked monumentally unimpressed.

"This is entertaining," Sanzo grumbled, but quietly. Most of his attention seemed fixed on Goku and his burden, though Sanzo was careful to look anywhere but at them.

"Hakuryuu, please," Hakkai said softly. "We have an injured boy."

That got the dragon's attention. Cocking his head to the side, Hakuryuu glanced at each of them in turn until he spotted the small figure in Goku's arms. Cheeping inquisitively, he hesitated only a moment before spreading his wings fully and launching himself from the rock, gliding over to land on Goku's shoulder. Twining his way around the back of Goku's neck, he lowered his head to get a better look at the boy in question.

The result was instantaneous. Hakuryuu's long neck recoiled like a spring, and Goku yelped when claws dug sharply into his shoulder. With an emphatic: "Kyuu!" Hakuryuu snapped his wings out, batting Goku in the face, and leapt away from the two with whip-crack speed. For one startled moment, Hakkai was convinced that Hakuryuu had seen something that upset or scared him and that he'd turned to flee, and he reproved himself for the thought almost as quickly. Hakuryuu went no further than he had to in order to transform, the Jeep's motor already running when he took shape.

"Well?" Hakkai said, looking at the others with a strange feeling of something ending and an unexpected nostalgia that was almost a kind of homesickness. It was time to go back now, but that wasn't the home he was missing. Home was with these people, and once they returned to Chang'An, that home would never be the same again. "Are we ready to go?"

He knew Gojyo felt it by the way the man hesitated, looking at him with silent questions in his eyes. How much of _them_ had been the journey, that look asked, and did they have to go back at all if the answer was 'most?'

Goku shifted Nataku in his arms, looking at Sanzo with both worry and trust. It was Sanzo that Hakkai worried about the most, now that both mission and revenge were satisfied. Could Sanzo learn to live as Hakkai had, with no purpose and no expectations?

 _But with friends_ , he reminded himself as Sanzo glared at them all impartially, his expression announcing that he was unfairly burdened with idiots.

"We'd better be ready," Sanzo growled, "because it's going to take us a _year_ to get home."

Ah, yes. Trust Sanzo to remember the important things, such as the fact that they had all the time in the world to come to grips with how things would be. He had questions of his own he was certain Gojyo had seen, and he quite looked forward to having them answered.

"Then...after you," Hakkai invited, sweeping an arm towards the patiently waiting Jeep with a bow.

Sanzo rolled his eyes, but he stalked to his customary place with the regal deliberation of a god, and the others scrambled into place after him.

Hakuryuu barely waited for Hakkai to get his hands on the wheel before taking off in a spray of loose gravel, skidding back down the mountain they'd spent so long climbing.

***

There were voices where he'd expected oblivion, and that was Nataku's first clue that all was not as it should be. Memory returned in smeary flashes only--fighting Gyumaoh, then fighting him again; Konzen Douji's face, seen one moment from a distance, bored in the crowd, and then leaning over him with worry etched starkly, cracking the mask. Konzen had cut his hair, Nataku realized inanely, and he wondered which he liked better. Long, it was very beautiful, but short made him look more fierce, more like a protector. And there was someone...someone who needed a strong protector.

"I thought you healed him," a voice he knew protested, and it brought him struggling helplessly back to consciousness. If they were talking about healing, then someone's protection had failed, and--

"I healed him as best I could, Goku, but I told you that he'd need rest. He'll get better, but it may be weeks before he fully recovers."

Weeks, ha--he knew all about that. 'Weeks,' they said, and meant it...if you weren't sent out on another mission in the meantime, and another one after that. There was only so much even a god could take, and everyone broke eventually.

"Oh. Sorry, Hakkai. Um...do you need any help?"

"Yes, please. Come sit behind him so I can change the bandages, would you?"

There were hands on his shoulders and something shaking the bed, but it was the hands that woke him fully. They were very gentle, yes, but that gentleness reminded him of his father's, and he'd thought he was free of that. _No_ , he thought, loudly enough he could practically hear it, _stop it. Don't touch me--_

"What's he saying?" a new voice asked, wary and concerned, but--

"Goku, hold him. He's going to hurt himself--"

"What the fuck are you idiots doing?"

"Nataku! Hey, Nataku, wake up!"

His eyes flashed open in surprise, and the first thing he saw was Marshal Tenpou's worried face bent over him. "Marshal?" he asked weakly, disoriented, and saw bright green eyes blink in surprise.

"Ah...I think you have me mistaken for--"

"Nataku!"

Another face eclipsed Tenpou's, Goku's upside-down grin and relieved golden eyes, looking older but just as happy to see him. He dimly realized that his head was in Goku's lap, and that he was lying on a narrow bed in a plain little room, surrounded by the only people he'd ever even considered trusting.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly, memory returning in a rush. "May I ask what you're called?"

"Cho Hakkai," the Marshal said kindly, bowing his head in greeting. "The tall fellow here is Sha Gojyo, and I believe you've met--"

"Genjo Sanzo," Nataku said, his eyes gravitating to the chair by the window where Konzen sat. Short hair really did suit him. It made his gaze at least ten times more piercing than Nataku recalled. "I remember."

"Well," the Marshal--Hakkai--said with a smile. "You should know that while you've been mostly healed, your body still needs more time to repair itself. I'll help all I can when I'm able," he added apologetically, "but...."

"Hakkai's on his last legs," General Kenren--ah, no, _Gojyo_ , that was it--said with an impertinent sniff. "I thought we were going to have to let Sanzo drive, he was so set on it, but Hakkai had just enough fuel to get us here before we all died a horrible, blazing death at Sanzo's hands."

"I still have a bullet I can spare you," Sanzo muttered from the window, rattling his newspaper irritably.

"That's our fearless leader," Gojyo said with a grin. "All heart."

Hakkai cleared his throat, arching a brow in Gojyo's direction that had him rolling his lips in, an innocent expression plastered across his face. "As I was saying, you need to rest, and you still have a few minor injuries that need to be seen to. I believe the cuts should heal in a few days, but it's the ribs that worry me. I suspect two might be broken--only hairline fractures, at least--but I should be able to speed them along in a few more days."

Nataku frowned, hearing the implications without quite understanding the source, unless-- "You healed me?" he asked, regarding Hakkai with new respect. He remembered Hakkai _trying_ , but it hadn't surprised him when the man failed. Not many gods had a talent for both war and healing; it was a duality of spirit more suited to a Bosatsu.

"With help," Hakkai admitted modestly, casting a sideways glance at Sanzo, who ignored him.

"Yeah," Goku chimed in, pride and awe mixing in his voice. "Sanzo let Hakkai borrow the _Seiten Sutra._ It was totally cool!" he added, sounding more impressed with Sanzo offering the scripture than at the miracle Hakkai had performed. There had to be a story there, one the Bosatsu had left out or glossed over, and Nataku made a mental note to ask Goku about it at first opportunity.

Hakkai coughed again, but his eyes were dancing when Nataku looked back at him. Obviously he was used to being interrupted by the people around him and didn't let it bother him. Nataku suspected that was a good thing. "Well. If you don't mind, I'd like to change the dressings and rewrap your ribs. Do you feel up to that, ah...?"

He understood the question implied in that hesitation, Hakkai wondering politely what Nataku preferred to be called. Did he answer to his title and stand on formality, or did he condescend to be known by his family name, perhaps? He wanted to tell them all that he wasn't going back to Heaven, that the Bosatsu had told him he didn't have to and that he was going to hold hir to that, but he already looked young enough. He didn't want to sound like a child as well.

"Nataku," he said firmly, managing a smile. "Call me Nataku, please."

"Nataku," Hakkai repeated, looking pleased. "Thank you. Now, about your ribs--"

He hadn't thought to prepare himself for it, so the touch of Hakkai's hands caught him by surprise. _That_ was the gentle touch that had disturbed his sleep, and though part of him knew it was only the consideration of a healer, he flinched from it regardless, so violently he drew a sharp breath in pain.

Hakkai pulled his hands back in surprise, looking instantly contrite. "I'm sorry--did that hurt?"

"No," he said through gritted teeth, one fist pressed tight against his side. "No, it's nothing, I...please, continue."

Even forewarned, he couldn't seem to relax, and after the briefest attempt to unwind the bandages from around his chest, Hakkai sat back in the chair he'd pulled up to the bed and eyed him in perplexity. "Forgive me, but...do I make you uncomfortable in some way? I'm very sorry," he added, as if he expected the answer to be yes.

"No, it's not...it's not _you._ It's...your hands," he said distractedly, focused on the pain, then realized by the way Hakkai's expression went carefully neutral that he'd said something wrong. He should fix that, he knew, explain himself, and maybe he should have said something a long time ago, only...who else had ever even pretended to love him? "They...they remind me of...someone," he forced out word by word.

"I see," Hakkai said, and Nataku looked up sharply, expecting to see pity in the man's eyes but finding only sympathy. "Well, then. Perhaps Goku--"

"No way, not the monkey," Gojyo groaned loudly, shaking his head. "If you let Goku at him, you'll have to cut him free of the bed when we're ready to go."

"What are you talking about, you stupid kappa? I can too wrap a bandage!" Goku protested hotly.

"Sure you can--like you're wrapping up a prisoner. This is me, remember? I know!"

"I only did that once!"

"Once was enough--now scoot out of the way, little monkey, and let someone who's _famous_ for his hands step in."

"No way, you pervy cockroach--keep your hands to yourself!"

"Will you two shut the fuck up?" Sanzo snapped, rolling up his paper in what could only be a deliberate threat. He rose while the other two were still eyeing him warily, and Hakkai slid out of his chair with a smile kept mostly to himself, just in time for Sanzo to take his place. "Hand me the bandages, damn it, or we'll be here all night."

Nataku wasn't quite certain what to expect from Sanzo's care. The man looked angry, so rough handling was certainly a possibility. On the other hand, it didn't exactly fit with how quickly Hakkai had given way to him, as if the Marshal had only been waiting for Sanzo's irritation to give him an excuse to step in. From the way Goku was beaming, Nataku almost expected more of that horribly mindful gentleness that had made his skin crawl with memory, and he braced himself not to react at all if it should be so.

With a frown of deliberation creasing his brows, Sanzo picked apart the careful bandaging Hakkai must have done while Nataku was still unconscious, his hands competent and firm. He didn't flinch from causing pain or try to soothe it away afterward; he merely did his task without hesitating, as if he knew the best thing of all was having it over with.

Sanzo wasn't put off by his strangeness either, the parts of him that didn't look quite human, definitely not god-like. He almost expected Sanzo to shy away from his weird, doll-like joints out of some misguided urge to spare him if nothing else, the way his servants used to. Only Sanzo didn't. He was just...there, letting all this wrongness flow past him without affecting him, accepting what came without judgment. It was always possible that Sanzo simply didn't give a damn, but that was still better than taking anyone's pity.

First his ribs were checked and rewrapped, Sanzo listening to Hakkai's instruction without comment. His face was a mask, but Nataku noticed that he did everything he was told, reporting back to Hakkai in a flat tone that dared anyone to comment on his helpfulness.

When it was time to change the dressings on his other wounds, Nataku looked on with more interest. He didn't remember taking even half of his injuries, though it was possible that the rogue priest's attack was responsible for some of them. Had he really been so intent on his purpose that he hadn't noticed how close his fight with Gyumaoh had been?

"All right?" Sanzo said after what seemed like hours, sitting back in his creaky wooden chair.

"All right," Hakkai agreed, smiling as if he'd like to tell them both that they'd done a good job but was too wise to try their patience. "Nataku? How do you feel?"

"Fine, thank you," he said, disarmed by the novelty of being asked by someone who honestly wanted to know. He nearly thanked Sanzo as well when he was distracted by a yawn that came out of nowhere. That was when he noticed that he was leaning back against Goku's shoulder, his limbs heavy, quite content not to move.

"That's good," Hakkai said, unsurprised by the yawn. "Why don't you get some more rest? Sanzo and Goku will be staying in this room with you, so be sure to let them know if you need anything. They can also come and get me if you have any questions. Will that be okay?"

"You don't have to ask _me_ that," Nataku heard himself say muzzily, struck by the absurdity of Hakkai's careful handling on more than one level. He got the feeling Hakkai was trying to be respectful, perhaps because Nataku was a god and perhaps because of his title, not knowing that he'd forgotten being a god himself and that Nataku had essentially abdicated the position of War Prince by leaving Heaven after Kanzeon's warning. Then again, Nataku looked young and knew it, and Hakkai had 'teacher' written all over him. He was probably used to dealing with skinned knees and bruised elbows and kids who didn't know the first thing about pain, scared and confused by the smallest injury.

And Hakkai didn't need to give him options. These four were the important ones. The only reason they were saddled with him at all was because he'd shown up at the last minute and done them some small service, nearly too late and without much skill. If anyone should be grateful, it was him.

"Of course I do," Hakkai said, his chiding voice reaching past the fog of sleep and grabbing Nataku's attention. Opening half-closed eyes, he saw Hakkai leaning down toward the bed again, giving him a funny little half-smile that was serious and comforting and above all truthful, like he meant for Nataku to take his words to heart. "How can you expect to get better if you're not comfortable? Besides," he added, his smile deepening, "anyone who travels with us must learn to talk loudly."

Something about the man's enigmatic grin told him that Hakkai never had to raise his voice, even in this crowd.

"Hakkai's scary," Nataku mumbled to himself, but even with exhaustion weighing him down, inside he felt curiously light.

***

"Well," Gojyo said innocently, "I guess he's already learned the most important thing, huh, Hakkai?"

"Oh? I would have said it was learning to ignore the way you use anything stationary for an ashtray."

"Aw, c'mon, Hakkai! How was I supposed to know it was...."

The well-worn paths of familiar conversations receded easily to the background, a sound Goku privately found relaxing, like sitting in your favorite tree as the stars came out or watching Sanzo read the paper. If Gojyo and Hakkai were bickering, then there couldn't be anything too terribly wrong with the world, could there?

So that must mean that the limp shape leaned back against his side was going to be okay, really okay. Hakkai would have told him straight if he wasn't sure, and even if he hadn't, Sanzo would have noticed while he was changing all those bandages. Sanzo might not be a healer, but he was really good at noticing things, and if he'd noticed anything wrong with Nataku, he would have gotten that look. The _'someone's not telling me things'_ look that tightened his mouth and made his eyes go all flat and scary: intent, like Hakuryuu stalking a mouse. Not that Hakuryuu ever ate the mice he caught, and not that Sanzo would ever really shoot one of them--not unless it was for a very good cause--but he'd get all _quiet_ , and that was worse.

Sanzo had just had the _'I'm paying attention, keep talking'_ look, though, so that was all right. Sanzo had probably been thinking that he might as well learn, since he was the one who'd be taking care of Nataku from now on. Which was how it should be. Part of Goku wished that it had always been like that, because then he...he...because....

Looking up from the sleeping face resting against his chest, Goku stared blindly across the room for a long moment, his brows furrowed in memory. He still couldn't call back much of anything about the time before the cave, but what he did remember was a sense of being where he should be, and people who cared about him, and then...something very bad. The rest all came in flashes, like the laughing face of a woman who wasn't a woman, and a too-neat office with windows that looked out on an orchard, and sitting up in his bed on the floor at night and watching...someone in the _big_ bed...sleep.

He realized he was staring at Hakkai with a blink and spoke before he had any idea what he was going to say.

"You don't look anything like his father, though."

Absolute silence greeted his remark, and Goku wondered belatedly if this was one of those times Sanzo was always telling him about. The times where he should have thought before opening his mouth, not the times when he should have considered the consequences of his actions or any of the _other_ times he was always being reminded of too late to do anything about. Sanzo's long-suffering look went cold as he watched, and that was bad enough that he had to check the other two's faces as well. Gojyo's eyes had gone all wide and funny, but Hakkai looked _really_ scary, kind of like right before he took his limiters off. Or maybe just after.

"Um...did I say something weird?" he asked, hoping he hadn't gotten either of them in trouble. Somebody was probably about to get it with the fan, but Goku would rather it was him, at least for now. When Nataku got better, he'd be fine on his own, but right now Goku felt responsible for him.

"No," Hakkai said slowly, "you didn't say anything weird. Goku...what do you remember about Nataku's father?"

He had to think about that for a moment, and he shifted his arm around Nataku's shoulders as he considered it, settling them both more comfortably. "I still don't remember a whole lot," he said after a moment, "but I don't think Nataku talked about him much anyway. I just remember that Nataku always sounded weird when he did mention him, and...he was always saying that his dad loved him, but he always looked a little scared, too. I remember that I thought it was strange, and that I wished he could come live with me."

He supposed he could have just asked right then, but it only took one look at Sanzo's face to know that he didn't have to. Goku could count the times he'd seen Sanzo look this serious without the usual edge of violence on the fingers of one hand, and that look was always a _'yes.'_

"You seem to remember Nataku there pretty well," Gojyo said after a moment, giving him half a grin and nodding at Nataku's sleeping form.

"Yeah," Goku said, pondering it, "but I think that's because he's the same, you know? I mean, he looks just like he did back then, when we were _both_ kids. And shut up, Gojyo."

"I didn't say anything!" Gojyo protested, all wounded innocence, but his eyes were laughing.

Goku smirked. "Uh-huh. But it's like...if I saw another god, I might remember them too. I still don't know what I did that was so bad they had to stick me in the cave, but I don't know what happened to Nataku, either. For some reason...when I saw him, I remembered that I thought he was dead. I mean, I was really surprised to see him, you know? And it's really him, I'm positive of that, but...I know something bad happened to him a long time ago. And I know I did something bad, too. So what if...what if I was the one who hurt him?" he asked quietly, looking helplessly at his friends. "I don't always know what I'm doing, so--"

"No," Sanzo said abruptly, and Goku gratefully bit back the rest of his words. "No, I don't think you're the one who hurt him."

"But...how do you know?" he had to ask, wanting to be wrong but not quite trusting it yet.

Sanzo's eyes flicked deliberately down to Nataku and then back up again with an expectant look. "It's your memory that has holes in it," Sanzo said slowly and clearly, "not his."

Puzzled, Goku glanced down and saw nothing different, only Nataku resting quietly against him. There was something utterly trusting about that boneless slump, and watching Nataku sleep like that, with the ease of someone who knew he was completely safe, made Goku think that maybe he understood what Sanzo was trying to say. Nataku wasn't acting like Goku had hurt him, and if anyone would remember what had really happened, it was Nataku.

"Oh," he said, ducking his head and laughing a little in relief, but quietly, so he wouldn't wake his friend. "I guess you're right."

Sanzo snorted, sitting back in his chair and beginning to search his pockets for cigarettes. "Of course I am, monkey," he said. So everything was okay.

***

"Hey, is there a festival on? Maybe they've got food stalls, huh, Sanzo?"

"I dunno, shrimp--these people look pretty pissed to me. Is there any way we can go around, Hakkai?"

"Ah...sorry, Gojyo. Not without asking Hakuryuu to transform, and I don't like the idea of carrying Nataku through this crowd if we're on foot."

"Kyuu!"

Sanzo sat in the front seat and glared straight ahead through the windshield. It was funny how the universe liked to trip you up with irony. He'd just been thinking that they were making pretty good time, even with an injured god in tow, and now this.

 _This_ happened to be an entire town that had come pouring out into the streets almost without warning, a close press of bodies that left them crawling along by inches. It was too late to reverse and turn around, and even if they did, this was the closest village likely to have the supplies they needed. He tried consoling himself with the thought that at least this crowd wasn't out for their blood, but a niggling feeling in the back of his head warned him not to get his hopes up. They'd probably used up their luck when all the angry shouting had failed to wake Nataku in the back.

Then again, the brat was pretty canny. Maybe he was really awake and just pretending to sleep, biding his time until the right moment came along. As far as Sanzo was concerned, he could keep pretending. A pack of country hicks was nothing they couldn't handle, and the last thing he needed was to have to patch the kid up again.

"Huh," Goku said, staring around curiously with Nataku's head still pillowed on his shoulder. Gojyo had been teasing him that it was going to grow there, but Goku kept saying he didn't mind. The more sleep Nataku got, the faster he'd heal. "I guess they are angry. What's up with them, anyway?"

"It doesn't concern us," Sanzo reminded warningly, "so it's none of our business. Let's just get what we came for and get the hell out of here."

"Hey!" Gojyo shouted, sitting up and leaning over Jeep's edge with both hands braced on the metal. "Hey, you! What's got everybody so riled up?"

"Do you listen to me at all?" Sanzo asked through gritted teeth, feeling the vein in his temple start to throb.

"It might be important," Hakkai said, his utterly reasonable tone arguing neither for nor against that idea. Sanzo couldn't even accuse him of taking sides, because the man had a point.

The fact that Hakkai tended to get polite revenge after being accused of such things had nothing to do with it.

They'd all picked up enough of the local language to get by if utterly necessary, but they mostly tended to rely on Hakkai for translation. The man who turned at Gojyo's question took one look at them, however, and immediately pegged them as foreigners. That was the only explanation Sanzo could offer for the near-incomprehensible pidgin that came pouring out of his mouth.

"You--you not hear? Dirty stinking rakshasas," he yelled, screwing his face up and turning his head to spit, "all crawling back now. Say...say 'so sorry,' say 'bad in head.' Fah! Bastards. Bastards _lie."_

Count on one thing--the first words learned in any language were the ones you didn't hear in the temple.

"Sanzo," Goku said in the back, his worried voice subdued, barely audible over the crowd.

"You mean the youkai--ah, the rakshasas have come back to your village?" Hakkai asked, his face perfectly neutral.

"Stinking rakshasi monster," the villager replied, apparently in agreement. "'Sorry, sorry'--ha! _No good._ Trust a rakshasa? No. Worthless. Good for killing only." He sneered, his scruffy face lined and worn, but the grim light in his eyes was nearly as zealous as that in a mad youkai's. "Rakshasas never do one good thing. Killing the bastards is best."

"Hakkai," Sanzo said, turning his eyes to stare straight ahead once more.

"Yes, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked noncommittally, his even voice demanding nothing.

"Clear a path. And don't skimp on the introduction."

He was going to regret this, he just knew it, but that wasn't reason enough not to do it anyway.

 _"Make way!"_ Hakkai yelled, laying on the horn. For two people so habitually soft-spoken, Hakkai and Hakuryuu really knew how to make themselves heard. "Make way for Genjo Sanzo, priest of the northern lands!"

"Make way!" Gojyo picked up the chant in the back, standing up to be better heard. "Make way for the Exalted Priest Genjo Sanzo! And don't expect to hear that every day, Baldy," he added under his breath, but not so Sanzo couldn't hear him.

"Less bitching, more announcing," Sanzo replied serenely, though a certain vindictive part of him was savoring every word.

"Needy bastard. _Make way!"_

Whatever gods were worshipped here, the name of Sanzo still carried all the weight it needed to. Whether they lived by dharma or karma, the scripture on his shoulders and the chakra on his brow were incentive enough to clear the streets, the crowd parting before them with identical expressions of awe and righteous justification. Sanzo didn't have to be a mind-reader to know what they were thinking. Each and every one of them was seeing their village's plight as something worthy of the gods' notice, assuming that he'd been sent here to save them because their souls were specially blessed.

If he _had_ been sent to minister to these fools, the first thing he would have told them was that the gods didn't save anyone. That was the whole point of rebirth. The ones worth saving learned to do it themselves.

The second thing he would have told them was that holding a lynching in the market square betrayed a serious lack of foresight. Who wanted to barter for a live chicken where a dead youkai had lain just the day before?

It was mostly men in the crowd as they neared the center of the mess, but Sanzo had come to expect that. Most of the women he saw were common laborers, of the lowest caste and discreetly veiled. With the edges of their saris held over their faces, they could have been young or old, nubile beauties or ancient hags; their work-roughened hands didn't exactly give many clues. The only thing Sanzo could tell was that their eyes were bright with resentment and hate--all but one, and her worried eyes peered out of a mass of wrinkles that left no doubt as to her age, a frail woman who stood nervously brushing the dirt from an abandoned sari.

He had enough time to put all this together before the last ranks parted on their victim, and so he wasn't surprised in the slightest to find a woman huddled up against the side of an empty stall, half-turned to shield two small forms from the weapons of her former neighbors. There were a few stones already scattered about her feet, a bleeding gash bruising on one immodestly-bared arm, and Sanzo didn't need to see the rocks in the nearest men's hands to know what had almost happened here.

What still _might_ , whether he intervened or not. There were no guarantees, and it wasn't their job to right any wrongs or play heroes. Their job was to get the sutras, stop the Minus Wave, and...return.

Something made him stop right there, turning the thought over in his head, looking for the weakness in that statement. There had to be something, because he'd felt the stirrings of stubborn denial, and that little voice in the back of his head that separated truth from falsehood was rarely wrong. Staring thoughtfully at the crouching youkai, he watched her head turn by flinching starts, hunted eyes searching wildly for an explanation, and thought he knew what it was.

The Three Aspects had told him to travel to India, yes. They told him to rescue the sutras, stop the madness of the youkai, and take three idiots with him, _yes._ They hadn't told him to return, not with all due speed, not without making any stops on the way. They hadn't outright told him to come back at all.

 _Maybe they didn't think we would_ , he thought with a fierce inner grin, spitefully glad to have proven them wrong.

The oldest of the two children clutching the woman's skirts was still terribly young, but the one that peeked out over her hunched shoulder stared wonderingly at him with eyes as red as blood.

"Hakkai," he said shortly to cover the man's soft, surprised breath. "Translate for me."

"Of course."

Rising to his feet, he didn't bother stepping down to the street below, wanting not only to be seen but to be ready to get the hell out of there if things went bad. Looking slowly around him, he waited for the crowd to hush expectantly, glad he'd bothered with the damn veil and crown this morning. Before he spoke, he took a deep breath, centering himself, and let his voice carry as if he intended to read the scripture.

"Who is this woman?" he asked, Hakkai's voice following unobtrusively after.

A man stepped forward from the crowd, older than most and wearing a better cut of cloth, his chest puffed out with importance striving to pass as piety. "She's a monster, Holy One," Hakkai translated, though Sanzo had caught enough of the man's words to understand that himself. "A rakshasi, he says--a female demon."

"What does she stand accused of?" Sanzo asked, ignoring the claim of monster.

The old man's voice grew more animated now, indignant and ripe with disgust, but Sanzo thought he detected a certain note of oily curiosity as well, down deep where a better knowledge of the language might have distracted him from it.

"Murder, Holy One, and destruction of property and livestock, impiety to the gods, and leading men into depravity. She has...made unclean several men of good families, such that they can't be purified by ritual alone. You see her sin here before you."

He saw one 'sin,' anyway; the older boy had black hair and dark eyes, and Sanzo wondered where his father was today. Dead, probably, or somewhere far away. No use to anyone now. The other boy was maybe two years old, and he looked too scared to cry, one fist shoved into his mouth, the other gripping desperately to his mother's torn dress.

Sanzo wanted nothing better than to pull out his fan and give that self-righteous old man a whack or two about the head and shoulders. Any idiot who thought a child was a sin was obviously too stupid to live.

"And by what right do you accuse her?" he asked at last, keeping his face perfectly still. If he bared his teeth now, the game would be up, and he wasn't nearly finished with this fool.

"Ah...he says he's the elder of this village," Hakkai began, frowning as he tried to make sense of the babble of caste and family the old man poured out.

Sanzo was having none of it.

 _"No,"_ he barked, startling the old man into silence, even without a translator. "By what right do _you_ accuse _her?"_

He heard the murmurs start right on cue, angry and outraged, but it was the old man he kept his attention focused on. Hakkai and the others could watch the crowd for him. All his attention was _here._

Drawing himself up stiffly, the elder eyed him with lofty dignity, and the man's voice when he replied was thick with condescension.

"His people have suffered," Hakkai said quietly, his voice even smoother and more self-effacing than before. "We weren't here to watch our neighbors killed, our children frightened. We weren't afraid to work in the fields, without protection, knowing our families would starve if we didn't. He speaks with the right of all his people, all who have suffered, and they demand justice."

"Justice," Sanzo said slowly, putting all the ice and scorn he possessed into the word, his eyes sliding coldly across the crowd. "I suppose it's justice to execute the victim of a crime."

It wasn't just murmurs this time; it was shouts, and the crowd surged forward a step before he lifted his hand, the three rolled scriptures held up for all to see. He didn't know if the crowd recognized them for what they were or if wariness had been so deeply ingrained into them over the last three years that anything unusual could stop them in their tracks, and he didn't care. So long as it had the effect he desired, that was enough.

"Let me tell you about this world," he said coldly, Hakkai's faithful echo giving sense to his tone. "Three years ago in Chang'An, I was given a mission by the Three Aspects and Kanzeon Bosatsu," he said, and didn't even glance sideways when the names of unfamiliar deities rolled fluently from Hakkai's mouth. "I was to travel to the West, to India, to reclaim four holy scriptures. I was also charged with discovering the cause of the madness that had taken the youkai of our world. This order," he repeated for anyone who had missed it, "came from Heaven."

Murmurs again, this time of doubt and confusion, but he didn't intend to keep them guessing for long.

"I have come to India," he said, feeling like an idiot for stating the obvious, but doing it in a ringing voice nonetheless. "I have come to India, and the scriptures have been found. The madness has been stopped, and those who caused it have been punished. I have come to India, but I did not come alone. When I left my temple three years ago, I was ordered by the gods to take these men you see with me to share my journey. These men are youkai."

The crowd didn't let that go in silence, but the roar of anger he'd expected didn't come, either. They looked terrified, but that only made Sanzo want to flay them even more, because where was their courage now? One women and two small brats were apparently just their size, but a Jeep full of polite travelers scared them?

When he spoke again, his voice was as reasonable as Hakkai's at his most ambiguous, and something in it caught them all, every one, and forced them to stand their ground and listen.

"We were helped by many people on our travels," he said mildly, "human and youkai both. There was a girl who cooked for us and an old woman who gave us a place to sleep when she had nothing else. There was a good man who gave us shelter when we were lost in the mountains, and a grandfather who guided us through a storm. If not for a youkai prince, the scriptures would never have been recovered and you would still be waiting for the next attack by night.

"But in all those years," he said slowly, "despite all the fear and all the killing, we met no one on the road. Not one of you asked whether the youkai were at fault for their madness. I saw none of you on our path.

"So I ask again," he said into the instant, awful silence. "By what right do you accuse her? What right do you, who chose to do nothing, have to judge one who had no choice? You said you wanted justice from me. I say justice has been done. The killing is over; the curse has been lifted. Those who were responsible paid with their lives. So what will you do now? You can grant her mercy, spare her life, but you can't save the million of her kin who will die tonight in the name of _justice._ Is all that blood not enough?"

The youkai woman was crying, soft and despairing, but he couldn't spare any thought for her now. It was the men in the crowd he watched, holding their eyes one by one, and one by one seeing them waver in the face of his will. The anger and fear he'd seen in them had given way to shame, at least for the moment, and they started to turn away with the hunched shoulders of scolded dogs.

Breaking suddenly from the crowd, the old woman he'd noticed before made her tottering way towards the youkai woman, her gnarled hands shaking out the plain sari she'd been clutching and throwing it protectively over the youkai's head. Glaring reprovingly at the men in the crowd, she settled its folds with prim competence and drew the edge of the scarf across the other woman's face.

That was it. There were some shuffled feet, a few doubtful backwards glances, but the crowd dispersed quickly after that. In minutes, they might have been standing in the center of a ghost town except for two small boys, a flustered granny, and a woman who rose to her feet only to stumble over to Jeep and drop hastily to her knees again, her face in the dirt.

"Thank you, Holy One, thank you," she was babbling, and Sanzo didn't require Hakkai's translation for that, either.

"I don't want your thanks," he said shortly, frowning down at the woman. "I haven't saved you--I just made them think." He definitely didn't want the thanks of someone he would have killed without hesitation only a week ago.

She wasn't listening, but the old woman was. Catching Sanzo's eye sharply, she nodded her own understanding and went to kneel beside the youkai woman, circling her shoulders with an arm and patting her soothingly.

Sanzo didn't stay to hear what would be decided between them. Sitting back down, he turned to Hakkai and found him, like Gojyo, watching the two boys who hung back in the shadows of the stall they'd been driven against. When they noticed they were being observed, the older boy snatched up his brother's hand with a stubborn scowl, pulling the younger boy close and covering his bright red hair with his other hand, daring them to comment. The younger brother just stared at them, scarlet eyes fixed on Gojyo's with simple, silent wonder.

"Let's go," Sanzo growled into the stillness, folding his arms and tucking the scriptures back into his sleeve. "We can get supplies somewhere else."

"Of course," Hakkai said faintly, then put Jeep in gear and sent them on their way.

It was a quiet drive as they left town, and Sanzo liked it that way. He intended to savor it as a lesson in transience: nothing good ever lasted.

To illustrate that point, Gojyo spoke up from the back.

"Wow. So I've finally heard the Exalted Genjo Sanzo preach to the masses. Damn, I feel more spiritual already."

Without turning around, Sanzo drew and cocked his gun.

"I'd prefer it if you used the fan, please," Hakkai said casually without looking at either of them, a faint smile curving his lips. "You'll wake Nataku."

"Like anyone could sleep through that mess," Sanzo grumbled darkly.

But Nataku did seem to be asleep when he looked, or perhaps he'd merely nodded off as they drove away, leaning up against Goku's shoulder. Goku himself was actually still for once, and if Sanzo didn't know better, he'd say the monkey looked proud. Of himself, surely, for being trusted like that, because the only other option was that the idiot was proud of _him_ , and that was just foolishness.

He couldn't help feeling an odd twinge when he looked at them, though, and that unsettled him enough that he forgot Gojyo in favor of examining that sensation. It wasn't until they were a few more miles down the road that he had to admit that it disturbed him how right Goku and Nataku looked like that, two small animals curled up together. Maybe that was it, then--now that they had the sutras, whatever had bound them all together was surely dissolving. Goku had needed him once, to get him out of the cave and give him a place to grow, and maybe now that everything was over they'd grow apart and go their own ways.

He didn't think it was quite important that the idea of being alone again didn't make him as happy as he'd once expected. He'd gotten used to Goku, that was all: loud and devoted and underfoot, cheerful in the face of Sanzo at his worst. Catch Goku in a sappy mood, and he'd say that Sanzo was his sun, but the idiot monkey had gotten it backwards, just like always.

Glancing back again, he caught Goku just looking up, and when their eyes met, Goku gave him that grin, the ridiculously happy one that was just them, for whatever that was worth. He'd never understood what it was about him that could make Goku light up like that, but seeing that look now convinced him to worry about the whole thing later.

If Goku decided to leave, Sanzo wouldn't stand in his way. But if Goku decided to stay, maybe it wouldn't be so bad not to fight that too hard, either.

***

It was a pretty nice night, all in all. They'd found a town that was reasonably quiet, one that even had all the supplies they'd been meaning to stock up on: cigarettes and booze for him; bullets for the homicidal priest, which Gojyo had argued firmly _against_ and been bitchily overruled on; more tools of the healer's trade for Hakkai, like bandages and surgical thread and duct tape (why duct tape? he'd asked, and Hakkai had given him a look like he'd be happy to demonstrate); and a positively obscene amount of food for the bottomless pit and his shadow.

And now they had an inn with two rooms, just close enough to silence the paranoia of three years and just far enough apart to make things interesting tonight. Well, interesting if Gojyo had anything to say about it, and considering who his roommate was, he planned on it being a pretty vocal evening all around.

Especially since they'd had that talk, although 'talk' would be stretching things a bit. There hadn't been much actual talking involved, but he figured they understood each other just fine.

"Hmm," Hakkai said, breathing in the fresh air of the inn's back court, his eyes closed and his face tipped up to the stars. "I think it's going to be an early summer. Don't you?"

"Sure," Gojyo agreed, paying no attention at all to what he was saying. He was fine just looking, though watching Hakkai's hair ruffle in the breeze made him want to run his fingers through it until it was a mess, the kind that looked perfect against a pillow. Preferably in his bed.

He must have sounded a bit too distracted, though, because Hakkai turned to look at him and smiled, the lamplight from the inn's windows glinting off the frame of his monocle. "I'm sorry, Gojyo--I must be boring you. If you'd rather go in and start up a game...."

Aw, crap. Now Hakkai was being coy. A smart man would just shut up and give in now.

"Well," he drawled instead with an inviting grin, "I can think of one game I wouldn't mind starting, but I'll need another player."

"Oh? Should we collect the others, then?" Hakkai asked innocently, and Gojyo nearly went cross-eyed at the mental image _that_ gave him. Okay, okay, so maybe if Hakkai had just suggested Sanzo, that would have been all right--weird and a little too close for either of them, but all right. Adding in the monkey and the shrimp, on the other hand....

"I think I'm traumatized," he said faintly, clutching his heart for good measure. Hakkai just laughed at him, of course. Gojyo was used to that.

"Hold on!" Goku's voice rang out from somewhere inside. "I'll go ask!"

Hakkai shook his head fondly with a faint sigh. "You know, sometimes I think Goku decided he reached the perfect age three years ago and made up his mind to stay there."

"Heh. It certainly would explain a few things," Gojyo agreed, patting his pockets down for his smokes. "'Course, it seems like maybe he wasn't entirely done growing, you know?"

"You mean Nataku," Hakkai said, a slight wistfulness in his voice that Gojyo knew wasn't on Hakkai's own behalf.

"Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong--if Goku leaves him for the shrimp, that idiot probably deserves it. Won't catch _me_ feeling sorry for the bastard."

Hakkai snorted, a very Sanzo kind of sound, letting Gojyo know that Hakkai thought he was spouting pure bullshit. "You're just waiting to move in once Goku's out of the way," Hakkai pronounced knowingly, leaving Gojyo sputtering with laughter. It was the way he said it, like maybe Gojyo would have to race him if he wanted to get there first, but what the hell. They'd never really disagreed on much of anything, and neither of them had a problem with sharing.

Still.

"I dunno," Gojyo said as he caught his breath, lighting up to give himself more time to think. The click of the lighter sounded loud in the stillness, but they were right there on the edge of town, where nights seemed to get extra quiet after the kids were put to bed. "It'd just be weird. Sanzo without his monkey. It'd be like...a Hakkai without his Jeep. It just wouldn't _work_ , you know?"

"He survived for years without," Hakkai offered, though he didn't sound convinced.

Gojyo smirked, though there wasn't much humor in it. " _Survived_ , yes."

Which silenced Hakkai, and that made him nervous. He'd been hoping to argue it out a little longer, but if Hakkai agreed with him, then that was that.

"Ah, hell," he grumbled, sighing out a long stream of smoke that vanished slowly until the breeze picked up. "Let's go inside, huh? Thinking about that damn priest always gives me a headache."

"If you like," Hakkai said, a touch of amusement creeping back into his voice. It wasn't until Hakkai opened the door at their backs and froze that Gojyo wondered just how far their voices had been carrying out there in the quiet.

Goku stood in the hallway just inside, a roll of bandages clutched forgotten in one hand and a bottle of antiseptic in the other. His gold eyes gleamed faintly in the soft glow of trimmed lamps, and he stared at the two of them with the disbelieving hurt of a dog that has been thrashed by a previously kind hand.

"Shit," Gojyo said, which wasn't the most diplomatic thing he could have come up with, but he had Hakkai for that.

"Goku--"

"I wouldn't ever leave Sanzo," Goku said, his voice unaccustomedly harsh. "Not _ever._ "

Goku turned and took off running before either of them could stop him, but when Gojyo made to go after him, Hakkai put out a hand to stop him. Considering that he would have expected Hakkai to be the first one to follow the kid, that made Gojyo stop in his tracks and stare, but Hakkai had that thoughtful look on his face that meant he just might have some idea of what was going on.

"Uh...shouldn't we--?"

"No," Hakkai said, frowning after Goku. "Leave him alone for now. I think he probably needs to get things settled in his own mind first. He'll come to us when he's ready."

"If you say so," Gojyo said, subsiding reluctantly, and how fair was it that he was feeling like a heel over the priest _and_ the monkey now?

Hakkai just smiled at him as if he knew exactly how Gojyo felt, and that made it better. Somewhat. Even Hakkai had limits on how many miracles he could pull off in a month.

***

"Is it just me, or are you getting taller?" Sanzo asked, just before Goku burst through the door of their room. Which was good as far as Nataku was concerned, because he had no idea how to answer that, and bad because Goku looked upset, like the only thing that kept him from throwing himself at Sanzo was the fact that he had an audience. And that made Nataku feel bad, because Goku and Sanzo _belonged_ to each other in some fashion he didn't quite understand yet, and he hated the thought that he might be in the way.

So now everybody but Sanzo was feeling bad, and Sanzo was probably thinking up ways to make somebody _else_ feel bad, and possibly scream for a bit while they were at it. Sanzo was pretty reliable like that.

"I brought more bandages," Goku said with a pitiful attempt at a smile. It occurred to Nataku that someone really ought to tell him that if you can't smile convincingly, you shouldn't try at all. Not everybody could be a Hakkai.

He halfway expected Sanzo to be the one to ask, but Sanzo just took the bandages Goku held out to him without a word, giving Goku one of those _looks_ he was apparently famous for. This one seemed to say: _'Tell me if you want to; I'm not dragging it out of you.'_ That seemed pretty cold to Nataku, but Goku never seemed to mind. They mostly didn't need to _tell_ each other anything in the first place.

"What's wrong?" Nataku asked at last, unable to ignore the silence any longer.

"Nothing," Goku muttered, casting Sanzo a guilty sideways look that was met with one of deep suspicion. "Just...Hakkai and Gojyo are being weird."

"When are you going to learn to knock?" Sanzo asked, shaking his head pityingly.

That meant nothing to Nataku, but it made Goku snort weakly with laughter, covering his mouth with one hand. "Um. Not that kind of weird."

" _This_ time. But what about next time?"

"Um...then I'll...er...antiseptic!" Goku said, holding out the bottle. "I brought this too. Just in case."

"Monkey."

Nataku watched them with no little confusion, feeling as if they were speaking a language all their own. He could tell that Goku was still upset, but somehow not like before. Goku seemed more thoughtful now than anything, the initial hurt set aside.

"What else is weird about Gojyo and Hakkai?" he had to ask, and that just made Goku laugh until he couldn't speak.

Sanzo eyed him for a moment then shook his head, pulling a chair up to the bed. "Ask me again when you're taller," he said, which suggested both that he had some idea of how gods aged and that it was going to be one of those weird things adults did that seemed incredibly pointless until you were one.

Nataku wasn't quite ready to go that far, but he wouldn't mind catching up with Goku, just a little bit. He'd never wanted to grow up before, because it seemed like the only thing adults cared about was power. Now he knew better, and anyway, if Goku had done it, then he would too. It couldn't be that bad, right?

"I'll remind you," he warned.

"Fine. Now let's get on with this, all right?"

The first few times, it had felt weird to open his robes with his own hands and bare his weirdly-shaped body to be seen. His father had made certain he knew from the start that he was different, that he wasn't supposed to let people see him, no one but his own servants who weren't supposed to _notice._

Sanzo noticed but it slid right off him, like it didn't matter in the slightest, and Goku probably wouldn't have cared if he'd had extra limbs and a tail. Goku just perched there on the edge of the bed, watching with more interest than usual as Sanzo checked Nataku over, replaced the one bandage that still needed changing, and pronounced him essentially fit.

"You're getting good at that," Goku said as Sanzo sat back in his chair, tossing the bandages they'd used to strap Nataku's ribs into the wastebasket.

"Too much practice," Sanzo muttered, but no more grumpily than usual.

"Aw, Hakkai usually takes care of that," Goku countered, grinning at Sanzo speculatively. "I think you just have good hands."

That earned Goku another look, but Nataku had no idea how to interpret this one. Goku managed an innocent expression for all of two seconds before a huge grin broke across his face, which left Sanzo rolling his eyes and demanding they either go to sleep or find somewhere else to be, because he was tired of dealing with the mentally infirm.

Since that was what he always said just before bedtime, Nataku didn't even consider taking it personally.

They'd been sleeping three to a room since they started the journey east, Nataku and Goku in one bed if there were two, Goku on the floor with Sanzo if there was one. He didn't know how they worked it out in the other room--maybe Hakuryuu got the second bed if he'd deciphered what Sanzo and Goku had hinted at properly--but in their room this arrangement had come about naturally and so had always made sense before.

Tonight Goku couldn't sleep, and Nataku knew it because Goku was usually a very quiet sleeper. Once his head hit the pillows, he was generally out within minutes, and he stayed that way until breakfast time. It wasn't even that he was tossing and turning now that kept Nataku awake; it was just that he was a solid block of tension weighing down one half of the mattress, and Nataku caught him looking over at Sanzo every few minutes.

When Nataku poked him, Goku jumped.

"What?" Nataku whispered, glancing over at the other bed to make sure Sanzo was still asleep.

"Um," Goku whispered back, looking hesitant. "Hey. I'm going to...."

Nataku had already figured out that Goku wanted to sleep with Sanzo tonight, so why did hearing it make him feel so weirdly abandoned?

Goku must have caught that, because he blinked and then grinned, pure mischief in his smile. "Hey. You want to...?"

"Huh?" Nataku said, his eyes going wide with startlement. Was Goku suggesting...?

Goku jerked his head towards the other bed, giving Nataku an expectant look.

"With _Sanzo?"_ Nataku squeaked, his eyes jerking over Goku's shoulder to see if the dark shape in the other bed had moved. Sanzo was apparently still asleep, which was good, because Goku's emphatic nodding would have made anyone suspicious. "Won't he mind?" he had to ask, a little wistfully, because...he didn't want to be parted from Goku, but he also envied the closeness Goku and Sanzo shared. If he could be part of that himself, then who would be stupid enough to miss Heaven?

Goku's grin was as impish as before, but there was an almost secretive touch to it now. "Not exactly," Goku said evasively and slid out of bed before Nataku could question him. "C'mon."

It was strangely fun, sneaking across the small room in absolute silence, freezing at every creak of the springs as Sanzo shifted. Sanzo wasn't nearly as quiet a sleeper as Goku was, at least not when he was sleeping alone. He also had a tendency to either hit things or grab them in his sleep, depending on whether they were moving or stationary. Put Goku close enough to him, and by the morning he would have captured Goku, reeled him in, and pinned him to where he couldn't get away or cause any trouble...theoretically, of course. Goku was much stronger than Sanzo, but Goku seemed to think that being 'captured' by Sanzo was the best game in the world.

When Goku slid into bed next to Sanzo, the man was lying on his side with his back to them. It didn't stop Sanzo from reaching up and whacking Goku over the head without waking up entirely, and Goku snickered quietly to himself as he burrowed under the sheets, holding them up so Nataku could crawl in on his other side.

"Go to _sleep_ , monkey," Sanzo grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Yes, Sanzo," Goku said obediently, snuggling in closer. His face had to hurt from smiling so widely, but he didn't look likely to stop anytime soon.

The bed wasn't particularly wide, so Nataku had to squirm in close as well to keep from falling off the edge of the mattress. He ended up with his head resting on Goku's chest, one arm thrown across Goku's stomach and their legs tangled up together, which maybe would have seemed weird if he hadn't been sleeping on Goku for weeks. That was in the Jeep, of course, but this didn't feel any different, just warmer. It was probably thanks to Sanzo, and when the man rolled over in his sleep and threw an arm out, Nataku made sure he stayed perfectly still, not wanting to get smacked.

Goku's head fit perfectly under Sanzo's chin, he noticed wistfully, and then he blinked in surprise as his wrist was seized and captured by a surprisingly strong grip. It didn't hurt--it wasn't that kind of grip--but he suspected he wouldn't be getting his arm back anytime soon.

Under his cheek, Goku's chest shook with silent laughter.

Well. If Goku was happy, he was happy. And if the feel of his weird wrist in Sanzo's hand wasn't strange enough to wake the man up, then he was fine with that too.

Sleep came quickly after that, now that Goku was still and Sanzo's grabby instincts were appeased. It almost seemed like he'd just closed his eyes and then it was morning. He wasn't even certain what had awakened him until he realized Sanzo had let him go, though it seemed like the man wasn't entirely awake yet. Cracking open one eye, he watched Sanzo's hand reach up to pat suspiciously at Goku's hair, and then he opened both eyes very wide as the hand came his way. Keeping still, he waited for it to land on his head, feeling Sanzo's fingers twitch as they brushed over his much longer hair, and then the touch was gone.

Sanzo still didn't open his eyes, but Nataku could tell that he was gritting his teeth together very hard.

"Nnn," Goku said, still mostly asleep himself, and turned his face towards Sanzo.

And got whacked smartly over the head as Sanzo's eyes flew open, far more intimidating than usual when seen this close. Nataku closed his own quickly and tried to pretend he was asleep, but he figured it was probably a lost cause.

"What do you two idiots think you're doing?" Sanzo growled, barely two minutes awake and already sounding like a murder waiting to happen.

Goku just yawned, pulling Nataku closer with one arm as he rolled his head over to rest on Sanzo's shoulder. "Sleeping," he said, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"This bed," Sanzo warned, "is not big enough for the three of us."

Which sounded like a _'get out'_ to Nataku, but Goku apparently didn't agree.

"Mmph. Next time we'll push them together, then."

Sanzo looked pointedly at the ceiling and sat up abruptly, ignoring Goku's sleepy protest when his head hit the pillows. "Tch. Get up, idiots. We're wasting daylight."

Since he slept mostly dressed anyway, Sanzo was up and gone by the time Nataku and Goku managed to sort themselves out, and Nataku couldn't help feeling relieved by that. Sanzo might be nothing more than human right now, but watching him stomping around in a towering snit tended to remind Nataku of just who Sanzo was related to. Anyone Kanzeon Bosatsu liked to refer to as hir _favorite_ nephew was probably someone you didn't want mad at you.

And anyway, he didn't want Sanzo mad at Goku, either. Not when it was probably Nataku's fault Sanzo was mad.

"Sorry I got you in trouble," Nataku said as they got dressed, picking at the cuff of his robes. He'd have to get new ones soon, because he was going to outgrow these soon enough.

"Huh?" Goku said, looking up from tying his bootlaces. "Trouble?"

He looked honestly puzzled, and that puzzled Nataku as well. "Sanzo," he reminded. "He sounded mad."

"Oh, that," Goku said, and now he was grinning again. "Sure he did...but he didn't say _no_ , either."

The idea that Goku might not be insane after all penetrated slowly, but with it came the thought that Goku's reply might not be based on luck alone. It could, in fact, be an entire philosophy summed up in as few words as possible, at least if you considered the implications behind those words. And he was considering them.

Perhaps he was starting to figure Sanzo--and Goku and Sanzo--out after all.

***

There was something very soothing about having his hands on the wheel, feeling the ground being eaten up beneath him by Jeep's tires. Hakkai supposed it had something to do with the simplicity of motion, leaving your past firmly behind you with all your changes safely ahead. There were exceptions to that, of course, like when they were fleeing from bloodthirsty hordes or trying to outrun the weather, but the hordes these days consisted of nervous villagers waiting to hear the word of a Sanzo, and the long summer days had been mostly bright and uneventful.

Sanzo wasn't terribly pleased about being pestered to fulfill his priestly calling, but he gave in to necessity more often than not. If Sanzo's were the only ruffled feathers in their party, Hakkai tended to count himself lucky, and right now he felt quite extraordinarily blessed.

Gojyo was Gojyo, and Hakkai so rarely had to worry about the man, it would be easy to take him for granted...but he'd done that once before and lost everything. He knew better now, making it a point to be as attentive to Gojyo as to the others, which was how he knew exactly when to distract Sanzo from killing him or Goku from bending him into impossible shapes when his teasing got to be too much. Gojyo had quickly learned to leave Nataku alone, because Nataku was a fiend for pranks and believed devoutly in revenge. Other than occasional fits of boredom on long rides in enclosed spaces, Gojyo was better than fine.

Goku had been a little reserved with them for a day or two, but that seemed to have passed. Sitting with Nataku between him and Gojyo might have helped with that, since Nataku was essentially free from Gojyo's teasing and Gojyo couldn't get at Goku so easily through Nataku. Having Nataku sit there helped in another way as well: it made it easier for Nataku to ask his questions of all of them, and those questions sometimes seemed limitless. Far from being omniscient, Nataku seemed relatively sheltered even for a human child, and his curiosity about their world sometimes seemed to belong to someone much younger.

"But what do they do when it rains?" Nataku was asking now, watching farmers move through the fields as they passed. He was sitting far forward, leaning between Hakkai and Sanzo, his eyes gone wide and enthralled by the commonest of things.

"Get muddy," Sanzo answered with a shrug, and something about that seemed to strike Nataku as wildly funny. It made him snicker, anyway, and it was sometimes hard to get more than a smile out of him, however relaxed he seemed. In that, at least, he could pass for an old, old man.

"Get muddy," Nataku repeated, shaking his head. "But they're muddy _now_ , Sanzo."

"It's a question of degree. Wait until it rains, and I'll dump you out into a field so you can find out for yourself."

Nataku snorted quietly, and while he didn't ask any more questions for a time, he didn't sit back away from Sanzo, either.

Sanzo was the one who'd changed the most. It wouldn't be quite accurate to say he'd mellowed in the last few weeks, but his temper certainly had improved now that they weren't being attacked every few miles. Some of the hair-trigger quality to his reactions had ebbed a bit as the days stretched on, and he seemed almost indolent by comparison, like a well-fed cat, master of all he surveyed. Reclaiming the Seiten Sutra likely had a large part in that, but the fact remained that Sanzo looked more content than Hakkai had ever seen him.

Which, to paraphrase Sanzo himself, was likely a matter of degree...but perhaps it explained some of his patience where Nataku was concerned, why he didn't mind being followed about like a particularly grumpy bear with its cubs.

That thought was nearly enough to make Hakkai grin outright, and only the certainty that he'd be required to share if the others caught him at it kept his expression within the bounds of propriety.

As for Nataku, he seemed fascinated by Sanzo--and Goku was happy now, all his questions apparently answered. His little family was doing just fine.

Even so, there was a certain wariness to Nataku still, no matter how comfortable he became with them. Hakkai suspected that he had been treated very poorly by someone in the past, probably the one with the too-gentle hands. He didn't need to know the whole story or even how far it had gone. It made his skin crawl to think that there might be such things even in Heaven, and he'd noticed a growing sympathy in himself for Sanzo's opinion of the gods.

It was easier not to think of gods, though, because that only reminded him of a question that had been bothering him for weeks.

"Hey, Sanzo...when do you think it'll rain next?"

"Too fucking soon, brat. And I'll kill you if you get me muddy."

They'd already known that Goku had been in Heaven before his imprisonment, so that explained how Nataku and Goku knew each other. Two young children in heaven...of course they would have sought each other out. But Nataku often acted as if he knew _all_ of them, not just Goku alone. Gojyo's irreverence and lewdness was treated with an amused tolerance most adults couldn't match, and Hakkai himself was given the respect of an equal, which he hardly deserved...but then there was Sanzo.

None of Sanzo's moods seemed to exactly surprise Nataku, though he often looked to Goku to see how best to answer them. Nor was he ever caught off-guard the few times Sanzo's right to bear that name was demonstrated. Nataku seemed to expect it all from Sanzo: holiness and profanity, anger and compassion, and he trusted Sanzo more than anyone but Goku. The idea that Sanzo might once have been a god had stopped being surprising the first time he replaced Goku's limiter. If it were Sanzo alone, it would make sense.

"But if I'm going to get muddy, I bet Goku will get muddy, too. Won't you feel left out?"

"No. I'll get dirty enough when I'm burying your bodies."

What that implied about Gojyo and him...well, that was just too absurd.

***

They'd had an entire month of luck, but it had to end sometime. Always before, the rain had come after they were safely indoors, lasting through the night and clearing up by dawn. Today they had drizzles all through the afternoon and an early twilight, and Sanzo was just as glad to stop early. It had been a week since their conversation about the possibilities of mud, but he wasn't fool enough to think that Nataku had forgotten it. The too-innocent looks aside, Nataku had asked, very casually, whether the inn they planned on staying at would be likely to have a bathing room.

It was just as well that they were stopping at a real town, not begging a place at some random farmstead. The fewer opportunities he gave that kid to make trouble, the better.

"Hey!" Goku said from the back seat, peering out from under the edge of the cloak he was sharing with Nataku. "A festival! A real one, this time! What do you think they're celebrating?"

Sanzo could see the lights up ahead as they neared the center of town, a constellation of bright lanterns under hastily thrown-together shelter. Awnings and open-sided tents had been erected in profusion, and even with the dampening effect of the rain, Sanzo could smell the wares of the food stalls, hear the babble and laughter of the townsfolk and the shouts of peddlers.

"I'm not sure," Hakkai said. "I've lost track of the days, I think."

"They probably have better booze than what we'll find at the inn," Gojyo said speculatively, leaning around Hakkai to get a better look at what was ahead.

"Inn first," Sanzo insisted. "After that, I don't care what you do."

Despite the crowd, it was easy enough to find an inn. Most of the festival-goers were local or had family in the area, and the usually-bustling common room of the place they chose was all but empty. After securing two rooms, he did inquire about the bathing situation--quietly, while Nataku was still helping Goku with the luggage--and was vaguely comforted to know that the inn boasted a very large bath with very hot water. And yes, they took in laundry.

Following the others upstairs, he was just in time to nearly be run down by Gojyo, who was dragging a not-protesting-very-hard Hakkai out of their room and down the hall.

"All right! Let's see what these guys are made of," Gojyo said, grinning from ear to ear. "Maybe we'll save you some if you hurry," he added with a grin for Sanzo as he passed.

Sanzo caught Hakkai's eye before he was dragged away, half expecting to see the affable mask back in place, humoring Gojyo's whims. It was raining out there, after all. Only Hakkai's stifled laughter didn't seem forced or feigned, and he wasn't so much dragging his feet as counterbalancing Gojyo, who was pulling him along at an almost comical tilt, like he'd been hitched to a plow.

He certainly had been _hitched_ , anyway, Sanzo thought with a private smirk, then shook his head and went on.

Goku and Nataku were still in the room, the luggage stowed haphazardly at the foot of one of the beds. They hadn't gotten around to pushing them together yet, and maybe this time he would tell them not to do it. And mean it. And be _listened_ to.

They were sitting on the empty bed playing with Jeep, but they looked up when he entered the room, and he could tell at a glance that there would be trouble. Goku had that innocent, _helpful_ look plastered on his face, the one that meant he was dead set on being there for Sanzo whether Sanzo wanted him there or not. Nataku, thank all the gods, looked just the slightest bit torn, a hint of self-preservation or maybe curiosity and the guilt that went along with it marring the perfect solidarity of his expression.

"Nataku," Sanzo said.

Nataku looked surprised. "Yes, Sanzo?"

Pulling out his credit card, he handed it over with a stern look. "Get him out of here, and don't let him buy everything in sight. Understood?"

Nataku glanced at Goku, whose jaw had dropped open in stunned dismay, and then back at him with a long, considering look. After a moment, he nodded and slid off the bed. "Yes, Sanzo."

"Huh? Wait!" Goku protested, but Nataku grabbed him by the hand and started pulling, and like Hakkai just moments before, Goku's only real choice was to go along. After a moment, Jeep followed too, launching himself off the bed to soar past over their heads.

Shutting the door behind them, Sanzo surveyed the empty room and felt a brief moment of disorientation when he realized he didn't quite know what to do with himself. He hadn't actually planned that far ahead. He could go downstairs, he supposed, and find out what kind of alcohol the inn _did_ carry, but it seemed like too much trouble. Fishing his cigarettes out of the sleeves of his robe, he lit up and took a deep breath, holding it in, but even the familiar burn of smoke failed to soothe.

Pulling a chair out from the small table in the corner, he shoved the curtains back and sat down to stare out at the rainy streets. A few moments later, he saw two figures emerge from a door just below: one that seemed to have stopped growing a year or two ago and one that was growing far too fast. They looked up at his window in unison, gold eyes and dusty blue, and though Goku looked ready to turn back around, Nataku dragged him firmly onward after another assessing stare.

"At least one of them can take a hint," Sanzo muttered to himself, taking another drag.

It was hard to see the rain once night settled in completely, but he could see the ripple in the puddles outside by the glow cast by the inn's lamps. It hadn't picked up enough to drum against the roof, but he could hear the faint tapping as the larger droplets struck, an arrhythmic beat that was easily ignored.

Staring out at the dark streets, he felt that earlier sense of dislocation creep back stronger than ever, and with it the awareness that something was missing. He thought at first that it was only his irritation that had deserted him, but eventually he realized it was something that went much deeper.

For half his life, the sound of rain on a roof could send him into a black funk that might last for days--as long as the rain lasted, at any rate. The smell alone could take him back thirteen years to that night where he had been the one who did nothing, bound by a will much stronger than Ni Jianyi's to watch his master killed before his eyes. It had been the worst moment of his life, and he'd always thought that nothing else could ever hurt him so deeply, because what it broke inside him had never been fixed or replaced.

He'd been waiting for the old pain to return when he drove the others off, thinking that he wanted the time to face it alone. He hadn't been facing it, though; he'd been savoring it, the one thing he had left of his master. Tonight he had the gentle weight of the scripture on his shoulders to remind him that wasn't true anymore, and while the sadness coiled inside him was still sharp, it was no longer the crippling trap it had been before.

Sighing out a slow plume of smoke, Sanzo glanced away from the window, looking around the small, plain room he'd rented and considering its emptiness. It wasn't only a lack of ornamentation or possessions. The room was only a way station, and that was a point of philosophy he'd never cared to argue. It was just that the room had no _life_ , no sum of past experiences written on its walls, no sign that it had ever been anything more than empty. And that wasn't enlightenment. That was just death.

"You're thinking too much in your old age. And talking to yourself. Idiot."

His master would probably have had some half-assedly brilliant saying about the wise learning more from talking to themselves than fools could by talking to the wise, and just picturing the faces of the other monks as they tried to figure that out made Sanzo smile.

He didn't know what made him reach for the scripture on his shoulders--not the Maten Sutra, but its brighter twin--but he pulled it away from its brother in a long banner of light. When it finished changing, it lay in his palm as a rolled-up scroll, but its bindings were already undone, the bright cords draped over his fingers and wrist in what could only be a welcome.

He didn't have to empty his mind to prepare himself for whatever wisdom the sutra would choose to reveal to him. He didn't have any expectations in the first place. The Seiten Sutra was an unmapped country to him, though he had read the simple verse its public face presented countless times while it was draped around his master's shoulders. What was inside would be something far different.

When the scripture unrolled before him, he found the same language his own had been written in, the shimmering characters Hakkai had read when he healed Nataku. When he was younger, the bold, fierce shapes of the words used to remind him of the talons of falcons, but now he thought they looked more like dragon claws and the graceful arch of wings. The language of Heaven, his master had called it, then laughed when he asked why Heaven would tell people to 'go altogether beyond' and scribble it all over his sutra to make sure they got the message.

 _'Being a god isn't the pinnacle of existence,'_ his master had said, giving him a look both fond and knowing. _'For some, it may even be the lowest step. Being close to Enlightenment is not the same as achieving it, and those who forget that will wander a long time before they find the path that leads them out.'_

"Crazy old man," Sanzo muttered, more out of habit than anything else, and bent his head to read.

***

The lights and noise of the festival were interesting, less impressive than the pomp and ceremony of Heaven but infinitely more lively. They lacked something in the way of distraction, though, and Nataku knew he wasn't the only one who thought so. Goku only visited one of the food stalls, and he was still nibbling disconsolately at his third meat skewer a whole five minutes later.

"So?" Nataku asked as they walked, sidestepping occasional knots of people and keeping a wary eye out for Gojyo and Hakkai. If Gojyo found out they had Sanzo's card, they'd probably end up being dragged along from one end of the fair to the other, and Nataku wanted to be free to turn back whenever they chose.

"Huh?" Goku asked after a moment, rousing himself from his thoughts with a blink.

"What's wrong with Sanzo?" Nataku asked patiently, watching Goku's face turn glum.

"It's the rain," he said, which didn't seem to make much sense. Hadn't Sanzo been teasing Nataku about rolling him in the mud just days ago? "Hakkai used to be weird about it too," Goku continued after a moment, "'cause it was raining the night his sister died, but he's been getting better since he and Gojyo...you know."

Nataku wasn't entirely certain he did know, unless Goku was implying that Hakkai's sister had also been his lover. While that wasn't so strange among the gods, he'd thought they had different rules about that down here. Anyway, that was beside the point. "And Sanzo?"

"It was his master that died, and he was right there. He was just a kid when it happened," Goku added quickly, as if he thought Nataku wouldn't be impressed considering just how much death Sanzo must have seen since then. "Younger than I was when he got me out of that cave. It was his master's sutra he let Hakkai borrow to heal you, and I didn't think he'd ever let _anybody_ touch it after he got it back. He loved his master more than anyone."

Nataku frowned. "Anyone?"

Goku's smile was wistful but accepting, and he hunched one shoulder briefly then looked away. "Pretty sure."

Nataku considered that carefully, weighing what he knew of Sanzo with what he remembered of Konzen. He guessed he understood some of Sanzo's demons now, but what wouldn't leave him alone was a smeary, half-forgotten image from five centuries ago, of fading in and out of consciousness on the floor of a blood-stained audience chamber and watching Konzen Douji attack a _Bosatsu_ for Goku's sake. And here he was again, the anchor that kept Goku both free and sane, as he hadn't been able to do in the past.

"No," he said thoughtfully, feeling his way toward the truth. "Not...well, maybe at the time. But not more than anyone _now._ Not more than anyone _ever_...you know?"

He watched Goku consider that, wistfulness growing in gold eyes along with a measure of hope. Goku didn't remember Konzen, exactly--not perfectly, anyway--but he remembered the _shape_ of him in his life, was completely aware of the empty hole the lack of Konzen had left in him when he'd been sealed away. It wasn't even important that Goku remember; Goku understood things in ways that couldn't be expressed in words, and that was what Nataku was counting on.

"Oh. You think so?" Goku asked, casting a hopeful sideways glance Nataku's way.

"Pretty sure," Nataku answered him, amused by Goku's blatant cry for reassurance...and a little wistful himself.

"Okay," Goku said, brightening a moment later. "Hey, maybe he'll be tired of brooding by the time we get back. And he hasn't tried to shoot anybody in days. I bet his head's going to explode if he waits too much longer."

"Maybe we should bring him back something," Nataku offered, amazed all over again at how much someone could change and still remain the same. The very idea of Konzen Douji with a gun....

"That's a great idea! He probably forgot to eat, you know? Let's get something from that guy with the skewers--those were good!"

It was apparently Nataku's turn to be dragged along by the hand, but with Goku in such a good mood again, he couldn't bring himself to complain.

***

Sanzo didn't look up when he heard the door open, having already figured the quiet couldn't last for much longer. He even managed not to raise a brow in surprise when he realized Goku was alone. Goku probably thought he was sneaking into the room, sidling in cautiously a limb at a time and finally closing the door hesitantly behind him.

When Sanzo didn't toss him out again immediately, the monkey grew bolder.

First he went over to the nearest bed, like maybe he'd forgotten something in their luggage, but then he made a detour to peer out the window, and from there it was only a turn and a lean before he was resting his folded arms on the back of Sanzo's chair, looking over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Goku asked curiously, tilting his head to one side to regard the open scripture more closely.

"Reading," Sanzo said shortly, though his voice lacked the sting he'd intended to put in it.

"Is that your...uh, the Seiten Sutra?"

"Yes."

Goku was quiet a moment, and Sanzo heard him shift, felt the slight bump through the chair as Goku dropped his chin down onto his arms. From the corner of his eye, he could see Goku worrying at his lower lip, a troubled frown creasing his brows, but when all Sanzo did was sit there and read, some of the tension ebbed away. Now the frown was fainter, becoming more curious than concerned.

Lifting his head as he straightened, Goku leaned more heavily on his arms, his warm breath feathering Sanzo's hair. "That creepy guy Ni said he'd read the scriptures," Goku said, "and Hakkai had to read this one to fix Nataku, but you used all five of them when you'd only read the one...right?"

Sitting up from his comfortable slouch, Sanzo tilted his head back to look at Goku from over the rims of his glasses. "Using them isn't the same thing as knowing them," he said, giving in to the monkey's expectant stare. "I could use that stick of yours to hoist a flag and still not know how to make it change shape," he added, watching Goku grin at the absurdity of calling Nyoi-Bo a 'stick.' "If a flag's all I need, it doesn't matter that I don't know."

"So you could use them to fight--"

"That wasn't fighting," Sanzo interrupted, not wanting to give the wrong impression. "The ability to purify evil is something basic to all of them, the way Hakuryuu flies and you eat. Using all five just gave it more power."

Goku was starting to look worried again. "But you've been telling people that youkai aren't evil."

Sanzo pulled off his glasses with a sigh, and Goku looked guilty until Sanzo crooked his finger. Coming out from behind the chair, Goku hoisted himself up onto the table, only just missing the scripture, and waited semi-patiently for an explanation.

"They aren't evil, but the madness inside them was," Sanzo said at last, knowing this very topic would come up again later when some of the awe wore off in the towns they passed. He at least owed Goku the explanation first, and it would have to be the blunter, more truthful one as well. "The scriptures just aren't that precise. It's like using one of Hakkai's chi blasts to swat a fly. To destroy the evil inside them, I had to destroy the youkai that carried it. In order to kill Gyumaoh, I had to let everything else in that room die."

Goku blinked, plainly taken aback. Perhaps he'd expected more from the instruments of Heaven. "Oh. That kind of...sucks."

"I know," Sanzo said with a humorless grin. "But it's the same problem we've had all along. If we'd spared all those youkai we met before stopping the cause of their madness, they would have kept fighting. At the very least, they would have held us back until it was too late."

Sanzo wasn't telling Goku anything he didn't already know, just making him look at it head-on. It didn't take him long to confront it, and not, Sanzo thought, because Goku wasn't smart enough to worry about it too deeply.

"Yeah," he said, a little subdued but essentially unchanged. "I guess we didn't really have a choice."

"No--we always have choices. It's just that we don't always get to pick which ones they'll be."

Goku snorted, shaking his head with a wry smile. "Now you're getting all priestly when I just wanted to cheer you up."

"I don't want your pity, monkey," Sanzo growled, but even he was surprised at how calmly those words came out. He'd usually have tossed Goku out on his ear for suggesting that he needed cheering up--that he needed anything at all beyond the necessities of life: the occasional meal, a pack of smokes, and a pocket full of bullets.

"Pity?" Goku repeated in an incredulous tone, spoiled somewhat by his huge grin. "You haven't asked how I was going to cheer you up."

It really ought to be disconcerting to have Goku leering at him in a bad imitation of Gojyo, but it made him smirk instead, a quiet puff of laughter escaping him before it could be quelled. Reaching up, he ruffled Goku's hair for a moment, letting himself truly enjoy the silky feel of it sliding through his fingers, then gave Goku's head a casual push.

"Go get your shadow, Goku. He's probably tired from the drive."

Goku slipped down from the table, but his first step towards the door was aborted by a sudden thought. "Um...you're not tired of _me_ , are you?" he asked in a rush, and for a long moment all Sanzo could do was stare, wondering what on earth had put that thought into Goku's head and who he ought to shoot for it.

"Don't ask stupid questions, monkey," he said, his voice coming out deadly earnest.

Goku took a good, long look at him before relaxing with a hesitant smile. "Oh. All right."

This time Goku made it two steps, nearly three, before stopping in his tracks, turning around, and retracing his path with a determined look in his eye. Sanzo didn't try to stop him when Goku bent down and kissed him, short and sweet and so nervous it reminded Sanzo of the first time he'd allowed it. Just like then, Goku looked ready to bolt at any moment.

Pathetic. Wasn't the monkey ever going to learn?

Sanzo grabbed Goku by the collar just before he could retreat, and Goku let himself be yanked back down, his mouth opening hungrily to Sanzo's. It would have been nice to say that Sanzo had forgotten how good this felt, that he hadn't missed it at all over the last month. Even better if he could say that he wasn't tempted to sweep the Seiten Sutra off onto the floor, hoist Goku back up onto the table, and do more than kiss him.

He made himself pull away instead, ignoring Goku's whimper of protest, and opened his eyes to a lazy golden stare of deep contentment and joy.

If Goku was stupid enough to love him, Sanzo was stupid enough to let him...but that didn't mean he couldn't be mindful of others. Like the little god downstairs, always too alone and holding himself in, growing almost before their eyes just to catch up with them.

"Go on," he said, voice rougher and lower than he'd meant, and Goku wavered visibly towards him at the sound of it.

"Hn. Okay," Goku said, taking a deep breath as he straightened. All at once he brightened, and he was practically bouncing on his toes in excitement a heartbeat later. "Oh, hey--we brought you back something! I can't remember what it's called, but it's smoked and it's got alcohol in it, so Nataku said it was perfect. I'll go get it!" he cried, sprinting for the door.

Sanzo stared after him for a long moment before dropping his face into his hand with a grimace. "Damn it. Now there's two of them."

It was a good thing he was just _drowning_ in patience these days, because he had the feeling he was going to need it.

***

"Hey--I think I see the town! Go left, Hakkai, go left!"

"Thank you, Goku, I see the turn," Hakkai said, amused. Nataku thought it was sincere, too, and he was looking at the man pretty closely, leaning between the driver's seat and Sanzo's once more.

"Sorry, Hakkai. I'm just _really_ hungry. Are you sure we don't have any more of that jerky? Maybe a--"

"We'll be in town in just a few minutes, damn it. You can wait that long."

"Meh. Sanzo's grumpy."

"Do you want to die, monkey?"

"The hell with food. This place had better have some decent smokes, or Papa Sanzo won't be the only one who's grumpy."

Hooking his elbows over the seat backs, Nataku leaned in further, letting the conversation wash over him in a comforting babble. He liked being on the road, liked being on the road with these people in particular, the twinned and unfamiliar feelings of having both friends and absolute freedom. He knew there was somewhere they all wanted to be, but how they got there was entirely up to them. If they wanted to travel three days and nights with barely a break, they could do that, or they could stop in the middle of the afternoon, just because, to stock up on supplies and rest.

He knew Goku was happy now, and he thought he probably would be too except that something was bothering Sanzo. Nataku wasn't certain whether Goku had picked up on it yet, but maybe Goku wasn't meant to. Nataku was pretty sure what was bugging Sanzo was him.

Sanzo glanced down at him but didn't smile like Hakkai would have. There were questions in his eyes, and Nataku didn't know what they were, which worried him. It hurt, too, because while part of him had expected it, that didn't make it fair.

He didn't honestly think he was asking for so much. Would it really be so bad just to let Nataku hang around, pretend he was normal?

The town they'd found was low in the foothills, surrounded by forest on two sides and still cluttered with trees between the houses. Summer was fairly well along, and driving in under the shade made a welcome change from the never-ending heat. Hakkai had said they'd be leaving India behind soon, heading back up into the mountains where it was cooler, and soon enough there'd be snow. Nataku was looking forward to that part. It never did snow very much in Heaven.

There was only one real inn in town, and it looked nearly identical to the ones in the last few villages they'd passed on the way. He could just see the edge of the stable around the back, hard by the inner court where there would be a well, maybe a few trees, and probably a shrine to some patron spirit of travelers. Shrines of all sorts interested him, and Hakkai could usually be counted on to give him the name and a brief description of each deity represented. It was fascinating to hear how Buddhist philosophies had been accepted into the local faith while the gods themselves remained unchanged. It made him wonder why the gods of different lands were so determined to keep themselves segregated.

"All right," Sanzo said as they all piled out. "Hakkai, talk to the innkeeper. Tell him we want two rooms for the night and a bathtub for your dragon."

"Kyuu!" Jeep agreed, probably even happier over the idea of a short day than the rest of them were.

"Goku, you and Nataku take the luggage. Gojyo, you're with me. We have a market to clean out."

"Whoa!" Gojyo said, brows rising until they almost disappeared under his headband. "What's the occasion, Your Loadedness?"

It was sometimes difficult to tell Sanzo's scary smile from his genuinely happy smile, probably because the man _was_ genuinely happy when he was ripping heads off and scattering the bodies--metaphorically, of course. The glint in his eyes was pure satisfaction this time, though, without even a trace of malice.

"Unless I've lost my mind, and I suggest _none_ of you answer that, we passed by this village six months ago. And it's the very _last_ one we'll see before we enter Shangri-la."

Even Hakkai seemed surprised--or at least faked it well--but Goku was ecstatic. "No way! Really? Then we'll be home in no time!"

Home. Yes, of course.

Things got very busy after that, so it wasn't difficult at all to slip away while everyone else was occupied. Ghosting out the back while Hakkai was busy with the innkeeper, he found the courtyard he'd expected, the well and the stable and the shrine, and a trio of fat, squat trees whose branches ran out like embracing arms before reaching at last towards Heaven.

He clambered up into the first tree he reached, finally moving without even a twinge to remind him of his last battle. It wasn't until he was halfway up the trunk that he realized he hadn't done this in five hundred years.

The thought made him pause, not because five centuries was so very long a time for an immortal, but because traveling in the mortal world had given him a better understanding of just how long that really was. Three years was a long time to the people he traveled with, and they'd spent every moment of that time either on the move or fighting, or resting to do it all over again. They'd been places they'd never dreamed of going, met new people and learned new things, and never once had they sat down and said that was it, they could go no further.

Remembering Sanzo's words about those who chose to do nothing, Nataku rested his cheek against the tree trunk and stared blindly up into the branches. For five hundred years he'd chosen to do just that--nothing--but was it too late to choose otherwise now?

He didn't know how long he sat there, but it seemed like no time at all before he saw a familiar figure in white step out into the courtyard, walking straight for the trees as if he knew exactly where Nataku would be. It wouldn't be polite to make Sanzo shout up at him, and somehow he couldn't quite see the man climbing the tree to get at him; it just wouldn't be Sanzo's style. There was nothing for it but to go down to meet him, so Nataku lowered himself back down from the tree, jumping the last dozen or so feet to land lightly on the grass.

Dusting himself off, he dared a glance up at Sanzo's face and found it ominously grave. Well. This was apparently the point where Sanzo made it clear that their travels together were only temporary. Ignoring the sick knotting in his stomach, he squared his shoulders and met Sanzo's gaze without fear, determined not to ask for more than he'd already been given. It would be a lie to say that he hadn't hoped for more, but he still had his pride.

"So," Sanzo said without preamble, blunt as always, "when were you planning on going back to Heaven?"

He managed not to wince--Sanzo didn't pull his punches with _anybody_ \--but controlling his face distracted him from deciding how to answer. Should he lie and say 'soon' so that Sanzo wouldn't feel obligated, or should he tell the truth and repeat what the Bosatsu had warned him? "Have I been a burden to you?" he asked instead, hedging while he scrambled for a reply.

"You'd be better off asking Jeep that," Sanzo said, a note of humor surfacing briefly in his voice. Sanzo went quiet for a minute, but it was obvious he had something he wanted to say, so Nataku waited for him to speak. If Sanzo outright _told_ him to go, then he wouldn't have to worry about what to say himself, would he? "If you're going to leave," Sanzo said at last, "it's not fair to Goku to let him think you're going to stay."

Nataku stared in utter silence, all thought fled from his mind for a small eternity. It sounded like Sanzo _wanted_ him to stay, and was angry because...but...that would mean....

"I...what if I...wanted to stay?" he managed at last, feeling like his eyes must be devouring his face.

"You're a god," Sanzo said narrowly, and Nataku retained just enough composure to recognize it as the beginning of a question, not a refusal. "Don't you have responsibilities?"

Nataku thought of his so-called 'responsibilities' and shook his head in automatic negation. "Heaven used me to kill its enemies so it could keep its hands clean," he said quietly, forcing his eyes not to waver from Sanzo's. "That's all I ever was to them. A killing puppet. I won't go back to that."

Sanzo considered him for a long moment, but in the end, the man simply nodded.

"All right. There's room in the temple, but you'll have to follow the rules. Better than Goku ever did, anyway, or they'll kick us all out."

The sick feeling in Nataku's stomach had turned into a weird ripple of excitement, but surely it was too soon to give in to it yet. It couldn't be that _easy_ , could it?

Arching a brow at his silence, Sanzo shrugged a careless shoulder when all he did was stare. "Hakkai borrowed the kitchen," he said, seemingly out of nowhere, as if the other subject was already closed. Just like that. "There's food if you get to it before the bottomless pits finish it all. Apparently I'm supposed to be making sure you eat properly," he added, rolling his eyes as he turned to walk away.

Nataku watched him retreat, not believing his luck and still half-convinced it was some kind of joke. It didn't seem real that he would be allowed to stay, _invited_ to stay, that he and Goku could stay together, and Sanzo would... _be there._ For him, even, maybe the same way Sanzo was for Goku. An anchor that tied them to the world--the good parts of it, the things Heaven couldn't touch.

"I don't need a father," Nataku called abruptly after Sanzo, unable to keep the challenge from his voice.

He knew Sanzo would stop, but he didn't think the man would be smirking when he turned.

"Good. Because I don't need a son."

They stood there studying each other for what seemed like forever, but Nataku thought he could see it now: the sun that Goku had always known was there, shining out of eyes that didn't judge him at all, didn't expect him to be anything but what he was. And he could be whatever he wanted. He finally had that chance.

"So? Come on, unless you want cold food," Sanzo said, turning again without waiting to see if he'd follow. It really was up to him, after all, and Sanzo wouldn't care either way...but not because he didn't care. Nataku got that now.

Stretching his legs to catch up, he fell in beside Sanzo and kept his head held high, a smile spreading effortlessly across his face.

***

They topped the last rise on the first day of spring, and then they had all of Chang'An spread out below them, a patchwork mosaic of tiled roofs and thronged streets, serpentine walls and neat square courtyards, the fantastic sprawl of the marketplace. Far off in the east, over the arching backs of two hills, they could see the spires of the Palace of the Setting Sun glinting in the early afternoon light.

"We're here!" Goku shouted right in Sanzo's ear, and then he had Nataku grabbing his shoulder on the other side, scripture and all.

"Ow," Nataku said absently a moment later, pulling his hand away to lick the stinging welt on his palm, which meant it was the Maten Sutra on top today. It didn't matter which one Sanzo _thought_ he put on first; they tended to rearrange themselves at will, and one of them was inclined to be possessive these days.

Hakkai slowed Jeep to a stop at the top of the hill, looking over at Sanzo with an expectant smile. "So? Where do we go first?"

"To the bar, of course--right?" Gojyo asked leaning forward to put in his two cents.

Sanzo snorted, his eyes already turned away from the familiar city to the distant roof peaks beyond. "Certainly...if you want to risk being cursed with sobriety for making them wait. We're going to see the Three Aspects, Hakkai. _All_ of us."

That last was for Gojyo's sake, since the rest of them had already met the Talking Heads--or he assumed Nataku had, anyway. He didn't know Nataku's opinion of them, but he knew Goku hadn't been particularly impressed when he'd been presented to them after Sanzo hauled him down off the mountain. As for Hakkai, having his companions with him this time for moral support might do him good.

And crap, he'd forgotten the Jeep.

"You too, dragon," he said, nudging the floorboards with his toe, and Jeep cheeped something unhappy and probably uncomplimentary at him. "If they're pissed, we all go out together."

"And if they're pleased?" Hakkai asked without a tremor.

Sanzo smirked and folded his arms. "As I said. We're all in this together."

They passed a few people on the road, most of whom Sanzo didn't know, but one small group were robed and bald, and he recognized one of the monks as belonging to his old temple. "Ah, hell," he muttered when the now white-faced man let out a shout and started babbling to his companions, shaking one of them until the other monk's eyes rolled back.

"Wow," Nataku said, sounding impressed. "Did he know you, Sanzo?"

"Grumpy here is famous," Gojyo supplied from the back, and only the fact that it would be a pity to kill him should the Three Aspects decide to do it as _his_ reward kept Sanzo from unloading his gun in the kappa's general direction.

"How many temples are there around Chang'An?" Nataku asked, his fascination with such things unabated. It was probably going to be weird to have a bona fide god underfoot, but what the monks didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Just the two really important ones," Hakkai answered for him. "Sanzo's and the Palace of the Setting Sun. But there's at least a score of smaller shrines in the area as well. Chang'An is one of the bigger cities, so there's a larger center of worship."

"And can anyone come here to see the Three Aspects?"

"No," Sanzo cut in, his mouth twisting wryly. "That 'honor' is reserved for the idiots who can be of use."

"Definitely grumpy," Nataku said, eyeing him sideways, but Sanzo kept staring straight ahead.

"If just anyone could talk to the gods," he muttered, "there'd be a lot more youkai alive today."

There were hundreds of steps leading up to the entrance of the temple where the Three Aspects presided, and Sanzo was reminded of going to meet 'Kami-sama' with every step. Despite what he'd threatened, he didn't truly think that Heaven would be displeased with them...but there was always room for caution. The gods never gave without taking something away, and it was all too convenient that they were able to repair the rift in the world despite arriving too late. Gaining Nataku's help at the last moment...there'd be a price to pay for that, if nothing else.

"Gah. Now I'm _hungry_ ," Goku whined as they finally reached the top, and Nataku nudged him with a grin and handed him a peach from the voluminous folds of his sleeve. Nataku had shot up like a vine in the last year, and though he still had a delicate, doll-like cast, he was nearly as tall as Goku now. Hakkai had estimated his appearance at about fifteen years old, but that had been a month ago, and Nataku had grown at least an inch since then. Keeping him in clothes that fit had become more of an adventure than the journey home.

"All right," Sanzo said, pausing by the doors to take one last look at his companions. "Try not to make me look bad, idiots."

"Sorry, but when you're standing next to someone as impressive as me, it can't be helped," Gojyo shot back sweetly, and Sanzo got him with the fan before Gojyo could even think to duck. Once more, for old time's sake. Just in case.

The halls on the way to the chamber of the Three Aspects were quiet, but they were far from empty. Sanzo kept his eyes forward and his face icily composed, but he wasn't blind. Half the monks in Shangri-la seemed to have gathered here today, and they bowed deeply as Sanzo and his companions passed, a wave of silent respect that followed them right up to the final doors. It didn't look like an execution, at least, but Sanzo couldn't say it filled him with much eagerness to find out the cause of this gathering, either.

Huge and ponderous, the heavy doors that guarded the inner sanctum swept open without a sound as they neared, and through them he saw the darkness beyond and the light that surrounded the faces of the Three Aspects. The symbolism was heavy-handed to say the least, but he'd learned that was often the best course to take with the average man: bludgeon him over the head with the truth and hope for the best.

When he stepped forward into the shadows, the others followed him at the same measured pace, Goku and Nataku flanking him on either side and a step behind, Hakkai and Gojyo bringing up the rear, Hakuryuu perched decorously on Hakkai's shoulder. The three divine faces watched their approach with neutral expressions, but Sanzo thought he detected a note of satisfaction in their eyes nonetheless.

And they had damn well better be satisfied, he thought with a carefully-banked flicker of resentment. They'd just spent four years jumping through divine hoops, and Sanzo could finally say he understood his master's words on the nature of freedom. Having a place to come back to, time to rest and take stock of your life, was more important than he'd realized before the journey began.

Even so, he understood enough to know that home didn't have to be a location. Sometimes it was enough just to know where you belonged...and who should stand there beside you.

When he halted before the three faces, he heard the others fall in at his back, and it amused him to think it must look like they'd practiced. "Genjo Sanzo," he said, sinking to one knee, "priest of the northern lands. I have come to present the sutras recovered from the West."

"Welcome, Genjo Sanzo," the bearded face in the middle said. "And welcome to your companions, as well."

"We have followed your travels with much interest," the feminine aspect said, gracing them with an enigmatic smile. "Though you faced many trials, still you return with your objective in hand."

"We would see you present the holy scriptures you reclaimed," said the third one, as sexless as Kanzeon Bosatsu was sensuous.

He'd been prepared for this, perhaps the first of the forfeits he would have to pay for success. From the sleeve of his robe, he drew the first three scriptures he'd reclaimed, laying the rolled scrolls out before him side by side. Only when the three were lined up on the floor before his bent knee did he reach for the two around his shoulders, ignoring Goku's shocked gasp behind him.

"Stop," the masculine aspect commanded, an unmistakable note of approval mellowing his voice. "The two scriptures you wear. What are they called?"

"The Maten Sutra and the Seiten Sutra," Sanzo replied, perfectly steady. The tips of his fingers still brushed the scriptures, turning them to white fire in the face of his wavering intent. They would change for him if he tried to remove them, he knew that, but somehow he didn't want to see them lined up on the floor with their kin, inert rolls of ancient scribbling not warmed by anyone's shoulders.

"Genjo Sanzo," the feminine face said in the tone of a judge about to pronounce sentence. "We charge you with this burden: that you shall be servant to two scriptures, yours to guard and command. Though their natures are opposing, so, you will find, is your own."

"And this further task we set you," the third voice spoke, and Sanzo knew without question that this was the part where they kicked him in the teeth. "Before your journey, there were four Sanzos in this world, and now there remains but one. Three scriptures go unclaimed. We charge you with appointing their successors. Word has already gone out to the temples, and you will find no lack of candidates to choose from."

"Thank you, my Lords," Sanzo said obediently, mastering the urge to snarl the words out through gritted teeth. He'd _known_ he was going to pay for this, damn it.

"War Prince Nataku," the masculine aspect said next, and Nataku went gracefully to one knee beside Sanzo.

"Forgive me, my Lords, but that is not my name."

Sanzo shot Nataku a sideways glance of deep misgiving, but something made him stay perfectly still and listen. He'd suspected there was more than one reason why Nataku was still here with them, and it seemed like he was finally going to hear what it was.

"Oh?" the feminine voice asked with a faint touch of amusement. "Have you perhaps decided to take religious vows, Crown Prince?"

"No, my Lords. I leave the rigors of priestly life for those more versed in piety and abstinence," he murmured, and Sanzo's hand positively itched for his fan. "But when I departed Heaven one year ago, I was warned by the Bosatsu that if I left, I would not return. By choosing to leave, I abdicated my title, so now I am no longer Prince Nataku but merely Nataku. It is all the name I think I shall require."

"If that is your wish," the final aspect said cryptically, regarding them each in turn. "For the service you have done us, you are each entitled to a reward. Listen, now, and choose."

***

Sanzo stepped out of the Palace into the bright afternoon light feeling the way he imagined Goku's opponents did after three rounds with the monkey. The others came staggering out after him one by one, but only Nataku and Goku looked steady on their feet, and Goku looked like he'd seen a ghost. Hakkai and Gojyo were holding each other up, and Hakuryuu drooped limply on Hakkai's shoulder, his head tucked into the crook of Hakkai's jaw.

Rolling his neck until it popped, he waited until they were all gathered before he spoke.

"So? Does anybody actually remember if you took the choice you were offered?"

Gojyo looked startled, and Sanzo realized the man had nearly forgotten _why_ he felt so rotten. Hakkai merely looked thoughtful, which was practically an admission of the same. He even looked at Jeep, but the little dragon wouldn't lift his head from Hakkai's neck, which could mean anything.

Nataku only shrugged, but Goku lifted troubled eyes to Sanzo's and made a bad attempt at a smile. "I took it. I remembered everything. From before. But I don't want to talk about it, if that's okay."

"Goku?" Hakkai asked gently.

"I'm fine," he said, shaking his head quickly. "And it'll never happen again. I _swear._ "

Something made Sanzo reach out just then, not to ruffle Goku's hair like he usually would, but to take him by the shoulder instead. Goku's smile both widened and wavered at once, and then the monkey leaned over and buried his face against Sanzo's arm, just for a moment. After a deep, shuddering breath, Goku was as reasonably fine as he was likely to be.

"What about you, Nataku?" Gojyo asked, more to make conversation than anything else.

"I think I made my choice in Heaven," he said thoughtfully, shrugging once more.

"Hmm. How interesting."

All eyes turned to Hakkai, and Sanzo was pretty sure he wasn't the only one ready to back away slowly. Whenever Hakkai got _that_ tone of voice, it meant he'd either thought up something sublimely funny or hideously painful, and you never knew which you'd get. 

"What?" Sanzo snapped after a moment, regarding Hakkai's ironic smile with intense suspicion.

"If none of the rest of us remember the choice we were given, then that would suggest we didn't accept it, yes? Well...it occurs to me that this could mean we already have everything we want." Hakkai's smile widened a few notches as he let that sink in. "How very depressing."

But really, it wasn't. It wasn't depressing at all.

***

"Sanzo! Hey, Sanzo!" Goku yelled beside him as they sprinted up, and just up ahead, Nataku saw Sanzo turn with a warning scowl to wait for them. The outer halls of the temple were mostly deserted at this time of day, the rest of the monks all engaged in worship, which meant it was Sanzo's favorite time to pace his cage. They'd been at their wits' end to find the man, but they'd finally run him down here, in the outer walls near the gardens, finally alone. He'd paused beside an open archway that led out onto the meticulously-swept paths, and seeing him framed there in the sunlight made Nataku's heart do weird things in his chest.

He really should ask Goku about that, and soon, because it seemed to happen all the time these days.

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" Sanzo growled as they clattered up to him, which could mean anything from _'go away now'_ to _'I'm secretly happy to see you, now provide a distraction and get me out of here.'_

"We've already done it," Nataku said blithely, "which is what we've come to tell you."

It really was remarkably entertaining to have Sanzo's entire being focused on you like a hooded interrogator, your slightest twitch examined for motive and intent as he tried to determine what grievous wrong you'd done him this time. Somehow, the older Nataku got, the more thoroughly he understood Gojyo's point of view.

"What did you do?" Sanzo demanded in a flat tone of voice, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he clenched his teeth.

"See, there was this funny dip in the basement," Goku began, flinging himself into the fray, "and we were down there looking at it because it's a stone floor, right? And it's not supposed to have any dips in it, and if there are, then it probably means the whole place is going to sink right into a really big hole, or that's what the guy in town said--you know, the one who takes care of the grounds where all the drovers keep their teams. I don't think horses like me very much.

"Anyway, so I thought maybe we should pull up the stone that was all sunk-in and see what's underneath, because if there _was_ a hole, then maybe you could fill it up before it got too bad, you know? But when we pried it out, there wasn't any dirt under it, just this big empty space, and it sounded hollow, like a cave. So we went looking for a lantern, but we ended up having to use one of the lamps from that funny shrine that's down that way. I think it's supposed to be for your--uh, Kanzeon Bosatsu. Se probably won't mind, though, because when we lowered it down with the bell pull, you won't believe what we found!"

"It's a library!" Nataku jumped in before Sanzo's head could explode. "Well, there's other things there too; they were probably treasures of the temple that got stowed away during a war or something, or maybe they were holding them for some other temple that got destroyed. Anyway, there are all sorts of scrolls down there--really old ones--and they're in excellent shape. Do you want to come and see?"

Sanzo was torn, Nataku could tell. Either that or he was plotting to murder them both and leave their bodies in the abandoned room they'd found, but that wasn't something you could take personally. That was just Sanzo.

"If I didn't have every would-be priest in Shangri-La camped out on my doorstep," Sanzo began, and then Goku got out the big guns.

Only he said it weird this time.

"C'mon, Sanzo! We'll make it worth your while...."

Sanzo blinked at the plural and then shook his head, eyeing Goku skeptically. " _What_ did you just say?"

Goku honestly looked surprised, and Nataku realized that Goku had no idea what had actually come out of his mouth. It became especially obvious when Goku grinned hugely and said, "Man, and I thought the _mind_ was the first to go."

Out came the fan, quite predictably.

"Who are you calling _old_ , you brainless monkey?"

"Ow!" Goku said, one hand pressed flat on top of his head as if to shield it from further blows. "Hey, why don't you ever hit Nataku?" he asked, though there wasn't any resentment behind it.

"I'm like Hakkai," Nataku said virtuously, and Sanzo snorted, possibly in agreement.

"You're sleeping with _Gojyo?"_ Goku cried, his voice utterly betrayed, his eyes dancing.

Sanzo took another swipe at Goku's head, but this time Goku ducked. "No, idiot. Nataku doesn't do anything to _deserve_ the fan, whereas you should have it implanted in your _skull._ It'll fit perfectly in all that space between your ears."

"Hey, who are you calling stupid?" Goku protested, and Nataku watched them with a grin, seeing Goku's cheekiness and Sanzo's gruff affection for what it was. Getting close to Sanzo was a bit like trying to get close to a porcupine, except that there _was_ no soft underbelly, and even once you did get close, getting stuck by a quill or two just meant that he cared.

In the end they had to settle for extracting a solemn promise from him that he'd explore with them the moment he had time--just to keep them from knocking the whole temple down around his ears, of course. Then he shooed them off to lever the stone back into place before one of the novices fell into it and broke his useless neck. Sadly, unless they wanted to sit in on some deadly boring meetings of the monkish, that was likely to be the most they saw of Sanzo all day.

"Man, I can't wait until he picks somebody for those scrolls," Goku said as they lifted the long, flat stone between them, carefully setting it back into place. It probably weighed as much as the entire anvil and block the really _good_ smith in town used, so they had to be careful to set it back just right. Otherwise it'd just fall through the crumbling stone lip that kept it in place, and then the secret would be out. "Even when they sent him out on regular missions, he never used to be this busy."

"Well, that's good to know. I was beginning to wonder if he was avoiding us," Nataku said, dusting his hands off--on each other, not on his robes. He suspected Sanzo still had the credit card the Three Aspects had given him at the start of the journey to India, but he still felt a little guilty about putting Sanzo to the expense of buying him new robes every month. At least it wouldn't be for much longer. He'd nearly caught up with Goku now, and that seemed like a reasonable place to be.

It was too bad being the same height didn't help much in the matter of clothing, but Goku preferred things he could get dirty in, and Nataku liked his clothes to have _sleeves._ Sanzo's attire seemed much more reasonable to him, though he had no desire at all to become a priest. He had enough to do right now just becoming himself.

"Huh? Sanzo wouldn't avoid us," Goku said, and he sounded so confident, Nataku gave him his full attention. "And anyway, we see him every night. We wouldn't see him at _all_ if he didn't want to spend time with us."

True enough...but Goku saw him more often than just the hour before bed. Sometimes Goku stayed there the entire night, leaving Nataku to go back to their room alone. Lately when he thought about that, he found himself thinking of other things as well, things that had always seemed so incomprehensible before.

Looking down at the dusty floor, he picked at a thread on the sleeve of his robe and glanced up without lifting his head. "Hey, Goku."

"Yeah?"

"When you said Hakkai was sleeping with Gojyo, you meant... _sleeping_ with Gojyo. Right?"

"Well...yeah," Goku said, looking surprised and a little embarrassed.

"Like how you're sleeping with Sanzo," Nataku made himself say, feeling his own cheeks flush with heat and then quickly cool again.

"Um...does that bother you?" Goku asked hesitantly, which was definitely a yes.

"No!" Nataku said hurriedly, frustrated with himself for making Goku even wonder. "No, it's just...I'm just...what...."

"Hey, wait! It's okay!" Goku insisted, alarmed by Nataku's nervousness. "Even if it's something weird, it's okay, honest."

Nataku took a deep breath, forcing the words out one by one. "It's...what if...what if I wanted to, too?"

Goku's brows arched with a jerk, but he didn't look offended. "You want to sleep with Sanzo?"

"Either," Nataku found the courage to say. "Either of you."

Goku's eyes were very wide, but there was no hesitation in them at all. "Well...if it's okay with Sanzo, it's okay with _me._ Uh...you know you don't have to, right?" he asked, sounding as if he was quoting from memory, struggling to remember the exact words he'd once heard himself. "We'd still want you with us anyway."

"Yeah," Nataku said, a tentative smile spreading across his face. "I know."

Goku's grin was as quick and blinding as ever, and before Nataku knew what was happening, Goku's hand was clapped around his wrist, tugging him towards the door. "Great! Let's go ask him!"

 _"Huh?"_ Nataku squeaked, pulling desperately against Goku's grip. "No! Bad idea! Wait!"

Fortunately--or unfortunately, as far as Goku was concerned--they didn't manage to find Sanzo again until much later, and by then the man was utterly engrossed in terrifying the latest pack of contenders for the sutras. Nataku distinctly heard one of them mumbling a tantra meant to deliver the chanter from evil spirits, and he wrote _that_ one off as a possibility with a sniff. Anyone who couldn't handle Sanzo in a little snit would probably get their brains turned to mushy ramen by the power of one of the Tenchi Kaigen scriptures.

"Aw, damn," Goku muttered, peering around the edge of the door with Nataku. The chamber beyond was filled with ranks of kneeling monks, and to Nataku they all looked pale and not very interesting compared to the vibrancy that was Sanzo. "He can keep that up for hours. They'll have to drag this bunch out by their heels, too. Maybe we can catch him later tonight?"

They weren't to know then that Sanzo could not only rant a pack of monks into a dazed stupor, he could go right on doing it until dawn.

"Maybe he'll be in a better mood after he's finished with them," Nataku offered, though he privately hoped he could come up with a better plan of action by then. Blunt the man might be, but outright _asking_ Sanzo seemed...well, strange. "You do know you're hopelessly insane, don't you, Goku?"

"But in a good way, right?"

"Yes," Nataku had to admit. "In a good way."

***

Nataku had had to sit him down and explain to him all the reasons why Nataku didn't think asking Sanzo if he liked him was a good idea, and Goku had to admit that he still didn't get it. After all, he'd come right out and told Sanzo that _he_ liked _him_ one day, and everything had gone just fine. Maybe Nataku was worried about the squirming embarrassment of having to sit through The Talk, though, or maybe it was the part with all the yelling, because Sanzo could be pretty intimidating when he was yelling, but Nataku didn't ever get whacked with the fan, so it couldn't be that, at least. That was the great thing about Sanzo, though: all you had to do was let him know what you needed, then wait him out. Sanzo hadn't ever let him down, not on anything.

Still, he didn't like seeing Nataku worried, so he'd sat down and thought about it, and finally he came up with a foolproof plan.

 _'It'll be fine,'_ he'd said. _'This will totally work,'_ he'd said.

 _'What if he kills us horribly?'_ Nataku had asked, and Goku had grinned back at him expectantly.

_'What? Won't it be worth it?'_

Nataku then said that he was starting to sound like Gojyo, but Goku figured that was just nerves talking.

It had been three whole days since then, and they'd barely had time to see Sanzo at all. If it wasn't monks wandering in from all over the place, it was the priests of Sanzo's own temple, and if it wasn't them, it was the local officials wanting to be reassured about 'The Youkai Problem,' and if it wasn't _them_ , then it was probably a whole new group of monks, twice as stupid as the last. None of them ever seemed to get that Sanzo didn't like bowing and scraping; it just gave him a better shot at your head if you were tall.

After three days of barely sleeping and only stopping to eat because Goku tracked him down and pestered him once a day, Sanzo finally told everybody to go away and called it an early night. Nataku had been all for hanging back and letting the man sleep, but Goku knew better. If they didn't at least peek in and give Sanzo the chance to yell at them to get lost, he'd stay up waiting to yell at them for sneaking in and lose more sleep that way.

Only Sanzo _hadn't_ yelled at them, even as tired as he'd been, so now they were all sitting on the great big bed, Sanzo propped up against the pillows, him and Nataku sprawled out at Sanzo's feet. Sometimes Goku thought these were the best times of all, because they could just sit around and talk, just the three of them, and nothing outside the room mattered then.

"I got a message by dragon from Kougaiji today," Sanzo said, his yawn not disguising his irritation. "That bastard is sending me a priest."

"Ow," Goku said with a wince, rolling over onto his stomach and letting his feet kick up behind him. "I guess maybe he decided on revenge after all, huh? Did you write him back and tell him you already had plenty?"

"I think he knew. He said I needed this one to complete the set."

"Damn," Nataku said, sitting lotus-fashion with his hands wrapped around his ankles. "I thought you said he was one of the good guys."

"I've been known to be wrong," Sanzo grumbled. "Just not very often."

"Oh?" Nataku asked innocently. "What about that time on the ferry, when you--"

"I said _rarely._ I didn't say never," Sanzo growled, sticking his foot out to push Nataku in the knee. Sanzo's other leg was curled under him, his hands laced together across his stomach, and he looked way too thin for Goku's peace of mind. Obviously they were just going to have to learn to put up with boring priests picking apart stupid philosophies until Sanzo shot them down, because if they didn't start taking better care of him, he was just going to fade away.

Now Nataku, he was thin too, but he looked like he was supposed to be that way. The old ladies in town called him 'delicate,' which Goku thought was wildly funny, since Nataku was almost as strong as he was and just as tough. Then they usually started raving about what wonderful bone structure Nataku had, and what lovely hair, and had it always been that color? And then Goku usually had to rescue him.

He liked that they were the same age now, though, because while Nataku had been just as much fun to be around when he was younger, Goku couldn't go back in time to join him, and now they were equals again. He wasn't really certain whether anybody else really _got_ the whole age thing except for Sanzo, and maybe Hakkai and Gojyo. He wasn't even sure how he knew himself that they'd drawn even at last; he just knew that it was so.

As if he could read Goku's mind--and after all, he _could_ if he really wanted to--Sanzo flicked a considering glance over Nataku and asked, "Just how fast are you planning on growing, anyway?"

"Oh, I think I'm done now," Nataku said lightly, tossing Goku a triumphant grin. "I finally caught up to Goku, you see, and I wouldn't want to outdo him."

"As _if_ ," Goku protested, pretending hurt.

Sanzo shook his head, scrunching his shoulders more deeply into the pillows. The muscles there were probably knotted up like rocks, but Goku wasn't sure yet whether he'd get a chance to do anything about it. "Hmph. I still don't know what's so wrong with staying a kid for a while."

"Well," Nataku said reasonably, "Goku's the same age, and he still _acts_ like a kid--"

"Hey!"

"--so I don't see that it makes very much difference. After all, what's to stop the great Sanzo-sama from climbing a tree if he wants?"

"Uh...I don't think Sanzo was ever the tree-climbing type," Goku said, trying and failing to imagine a young Sanzo in short robes scrambling around in the orchard, stealing peaches. Now Gojyo, on the other hand....

"You know what I mean," Nataku chided, reaching over to thump Goku on the shoulder. "The only difference between a kid and a grownup is that a kid knows how to have fun; a grownup just thinks about it. That's why I chose to stay a kid so long--but now that I've met Sanzo and his friends," he added ingenuously, "I know that you can stay a kid _forever!"_

"Brat," Sanzo muttered, snagging a pillow from the pile and throwing it. Nataku caught it easily, of course, but instead of throwing it back, he squished it flat and hugged it casually to his chest, hooking it under his chin. It probably smelled like Sanzo, and Goku knew from personal experience that when the memories got too much, sometimes the only thing to do was go find Sanzo and soak up his presence for a while.

Sanzo was half asleep when he finally kicked them out, and Goku rose without protest when Sanzo gave him the _'you too'_ look. Once upon a time, he'd have used every dirty trick he knew to get to stay, but that was during the years when Sanzo was in serious need of distraction. He knew Sanzo just needed to be alone sometimes, and he was okay with that these days, since it usually meant Sanzo wanted to meditate, not brood. That didn't mean Goku didn't miss sleeping all piled up together like they had on the way home, but if things happened the way he'd like, maybe they could do that again. Soon.

"Okay," he said as he got to his feet. "'Night, Sanzo." And then he kissed Sanzo on the mouth like he sometimes did, quick and friendly, because he could.

"Hmph," Sanzo was saying, but by then Nataku was up too, coming closer with an innocent look.

"'Night, Sanzo," Nataku echoed, and then _he_ leaned down, and even though Sanzo's eyes went all startled, he didn't try to fend Nataku off.

It could have been the surprise of it, but Goku didn't think so. Sanzo never had to think too hard about anything that irritated him, and his reflexes were pretty good, even as a human.

"See you in the morning!" Goku said with a grin, and then he grabbed Nataku by the arm and hauled him quickly outside.

No bullets followed them, which was a pretty positive sign right there.

"Are you sure about this?" Nataku asked as they crept away from Sanzo's door.

"You bet," Goku said, meaning it. "Sanzo's really smart, you know? He'll figure it out, and then he'll let us know. Easy!"

"Well," Nataku said resignedly, "I suppose if he says no, there's always Plan B."

"Kill a bunch of priests until he falls gratefully into your arms?"

The smile Nataku gave him was so incredibly sweet, it made Goku's stomach do funny, flopping things, but he managed to keep that fact to himself.

"I love how we're always on the same page," Nataku said, and they had to stifle their laughter all the way back to their room.

***

When he got sick of pacing the same four walls, Sanzo moved the trials out into the open. The gardens and the orchard were each visited in turn, and once he led them all on a grueling hike up into the mountains, ostensibly so they could meditate at a forgotten shrine of immense purity and holiness. Actually he had no clue which god the shrine had been erected for in the first place or why it had fallen into disuse, and it was no holier than the privy of the worst hotel in Shangri-La--but no _less_ holy, either. One or two of them actually seemed to grasp that, and those were the ones he was keeping his eye on.

Today they were back in the orchard again, and even though the walls were further apart than those inside the temple, he felt like they were pressing in just inches from his skin on all sides. He hated having all these eyes on him, looking to him to expound upon the Way, when he of all people was the least qualified to do so. In a way, that didn't matter. He didn't have his master's patience, much less his wisdom, but he'd chosen this path, and now he had to walk it. Going backward wasn't an option.

Perhaps if he'd gotten more than an hour of sleep a night in the last few days he wouldn't feel quite so much like locking himself in until they all went away.

He had them all praying now, reciting the chants they should have learned as boys, and he stalked amongst their kneeling ranks like a drill sergeant looking for weakness in his pupils. This one had a very pretty voice, but his pride in that rendered the chant meaningless. That one had the concentration of a gnat, his words always lagging behind just perceptibly then leaping ahead as his mind was caught up in other things. One of them was declaiming with the fervor of a zealot, and Sanzo ground his teeth together to keep from stuffing the man's own sandals in his mouth to shut him up.

The two he'd been keeping his eye on were chanting almost in unison, tranquil and unconcerned, except that the kid had a touch of curiosity in his expression and the older one seemed genuinely amused. With the half-beat between them, tenor and bass, they sounded like echo and voice, the only ones out of this entire choir of idiots worth listening to.

Turning away from the ranks of monks, he returned to the small stone court that led back into the temple, his eyes falling on the two seated figures waiting for him there. Officially Goku and Nataku were there to guard the three scriptures that lay on the narrow stone table between them, a reminder of what the idiots at his back were working towards. It had only taken one demonstration of their strength--sadly not on the hordes of the hopeful--to convince any skeptics of their right to remain so close to both the sutras and Sanzo's holy person.

Official story be damned. Sanzo knew better. Goku had decided he needed feeding, and Nataku had taken to distracting him whenever Sanzo thought his fucking _head_ was going to explode if he didn't get to shoot somebody, _right now_ , and between them they were lobbying rather seriously for shooing everybody out and making him sleep for a week. He gave it another day or two before they orchestrated something sneaky, and he was seriously considering letting them succeed.

Goku had brought out cushions after the first time, and he and Nataku were seated like princes, Goku picking threads out of the knee of his jeans, Nataku ominously well-behaved. He was probably plotting something--he usually was when he looked that completely guileless--but as long as it wasn't directed against Sanzo, he had no intention of interfering. A little godly mischief would be good experience for the stuck-up idiots he'd been saddled with.

And anyway, those two had already sprung one plot with his name on it that night in his room. He had no idea how that had happened either, so apparently sleep wasn't the only thing he'd been ignoring lately. Maybe if he hadn't been so tired he would have seen it coming.

What he did notice was that there was something _interesting_ coming at him through the orchard, so apparently all his instincts hadn't gone to sleep for good.

"Exalted Priest Genjo Sanzo," a voice called out from behind the last rank of monks, spreading silence in its wake. It was a good voice, clear and ringing, full of confident purpose without arrogance. Turning to face the speaker, he saw a cloaked man in Buddhist robes, his face mostly concealed in the shadows of his hood. "I bring you greetings from Kougaiji Maoh, whose kindness sped my way."

Brought him here by spell and by dragonback, in other words. He _must_ remember to thank Kougaiji for this. After all, it would only take one year, not three, to return to Houtou Castle and _shoot_ him, right?

"News from old friends is always welcome," Sanzo said, standing relaxed as he watched the man approach. None of the monks moved to stop the shrouded figure, though many of them looked indignant, many more confused. "You, on the other hand, are a stranger. What is your name, and why have you come?"

"I have no name, because I have no teacher to name me. I have traveled the Way but a little while," the man added modestly, stepping now past the first rank, coming out into the open. "As to why I have come, my answer is the same as all these others. I have come to claim one of the scriptures and the title of Sanzo."

The nameless man's hands rose as he spoke, and Sanzo was too busy cursing Kougaiji as the most cagey, arrogant, _audacious_ bastard alive to be too very surprised when he noted the claws on the stranger's hands. Forewarned, he was able to stare back calmly when the youkai pushed back his hood, revealing a thick mane of black hair and long, unmistakably pointed ears. His birthmark was an odd one, a gently-curving arch that followed the line of his left brow and then curled, hook-like, in a three-quarters circle between his brows. Should a chakra ever appear on this one, it would fit perfectly in the loop of that hook.

Now that _was_ unusual.

Behind the youkai, the other monks were setting up a clamor of protest, murmuring that this was a travesty, a sacrilege, that the idea of a demon priest was ludicrous. Sanzo ignored all that, watching the youkai's eyes, paying close attention to the steel behind the tranquility.

"Claim?" he asked mildly, his voice cutting through the babble though he made no particular effort to be heard.

"What I know of the teachings comes from studying what makes a Sanzo," the youkai said, bowing his head in acknowledgement. Meaning that he'd been researching ways to assassinate a Sanzo and make it stick, of course. "Among other things, I discovered that the succession is decided in many ways. Sometimes a favored pupil is chosen and trained up from a young age. Other times, a trial is held among many students."

"Obviously. And?"

"When Goudai Sanzo chose to pass on the Muten Sutra, he challenged his pupils to a contest of spiritual strength. Ukoku Sanzo was not among those chosen...but he claimed the scripture nonetheless."

Ukoku. Sanzo smiled. This guy was talking about that bastard Ni Jianyi.

He saw the instant the youkai decided to move, watched with grudging admiration as the man focused all his will in three soft words, one upraised hand drawing back and flickering with raw sparks of power-- _spiritual_ power, not youkai magic. It wasn't a chi blast; it was a dispelling, meant to send onward an unquiet soul that had lingered too long in the world, whether it was tied by memory or housed in flesh. It was definitely meant to kill.

 _"Stop,"_ Sanzo commanded, focusing _his_ will and scattering the gathered power at the youkai's fingertips. The youkai's voice stopped as well, and the idiot should count himself lucky his heart didn't join it.

Goku _didn't_ stop, rushing at the man with his staff summoned from wherever youkai kept such things, his face twisted with fury.

_"Goku!"_

He wasn't sure he'd spoken in time until Nyoi-Bo stopped a bare inch from the youkai's face, the blow that would have scattered the man's skull into the back ranks of an already-horrified audience pulled at the last second. Goku was breathing hard, but not from exertion, his fingers white on his staff. No one else so much as twitched in the orchard, and Sanzo wondered for a moment whether he'd frozen every last one of them with his little display. As if he'd bother with the word of breaking in front of this crowd. He could have shot the idiot before the dispelling could hit him, anyway.

"Back off, Goku," he said without heat. "This is between him and me."

Not until Nyoi-Bo was reluctantly withdrawn did the youkai dare to relax his stance, but even with Goku giving him darkly promising looks as he retreated, the man only had eyes for Sanzo. There was respect in his face, the sort of idiot courage fools relied on in the name of dying 'well'--and he definitely expected to die, which was only good sense--but the regrets and resentment Sanzo expected were missing. What he saw instead was a pretty entrenched case of despair.

"What makes you think you should be a Sanzo?"

It took a moment for the man to reply, but not from any attempt to dissemble. He looked so surprised at being questioned this late in the game, it was a wonder anything made it out of his mouth at all.

"For my people," the youkai said at last. "There's too much distrust, too much fear. If one of us were to be made a Sanzo priest, then humans might accept that not all youkai are evil." 

Sanzo nodded slowly then paused, considering how best to put it.

"You're an idiot," he said in the end.

It was always rather interesting to watch a youkai lose his temper. One never knew if the ears and claws you could see were just a warm-up. Spine stiffening with offended pride, this youkai bared a rather impressive set of teeth, practically vibrating with suppressed emotion, a distinct growl entering his voice.

"An idiot, you say? Optimistic, maybe, and certainly a fool, but how is it _idiocy_ to want to save my people? We've always lived beside you, and this is _our_ land as much as yours, but now we're hunted and despised wherever we go. _Yes_ , there have been evil youkai--but how many human kings have slaughtered their way through our _shared_ history, and how many times have youkai been the ones to suffer?

"And you--you call yourself a Sanzo, the most Enlightened of the Enlightened. I forget how easy it is to call yourself 'pure' if you have human blood in your veins. Have you forgotten as well?"

Sanzo didn't have claws and he didn't have fangs, but he felt something snap inside his head as if some limiter he hadn't known he was wearing had just fallen to the floor. Reaching out, he slammed his hand down on the stone table on his right, the scriptures warping briefly at his touch from form into flame. The youkai took a reflexive step back, but watching him retreat only made Sanzo smile, cold and hard.

"When I took these back from your former masters," he snapped, "who was with me?"

"I--"

Questions again. He should learn not to ask these idiots _questions_ , because it only tied their tongues in knots. He just didn't seem to be able to help himself.

"When I traveled three years to get there, who was beside me the entire way? Who guarded my back? Who cleared the path? _Tell me!"_

"Your...your disciples...."

" _Wrong_ ," Sanzo barked, the edge in his voice making the man flinch from its force. "They're not my disciples. I don't have any fucking disciples. But if you can tell me why they were there, _I'll_ tell you why you're an idiot."

"You...because...." Sanzo glared at the man, watching him flounder as half a dozen thoughts flickered across his face, and _dared_ him to think before he babbled out something stupid and sentimental. Friendship, loyalty, duty, karma--what was _wrong_ with these people that they couldn't see past all that useless, cluttering _shit_ to the simple truth beneath?

All at once the youkai started, eyes opening wide as his ears flattened like a dog's. The thought that occurred to him gave him an almost childlike expression, like that of a boy who has just learned that there are more uses for a snake than a target to throw rocks at. Straightening slowly, his face composing itself into calmness, the youkai took a deep breath and said, "Because they chose to be."

Finally. There was hope for at least one of them after all.

"Yes," he said, and, "very good," because you had to throw them a bone every once in a while. Goku had taught him that one, though, not his master. After half a moment's consideration, he added, "All those other things you were thinking were true too, but that wasn't why they were there. All that crap was why I let them stay."

The ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of the youkai's mouth, and then he dropped to his knees, bowing his head nearly to the ground. "Exalted Priest Sanzo, please tell me why I am an idiot."

He really didn't want to like the guy, but he had to admit, this one had style.

"Because you want to save others, but you still haven't saved yourself. You build divisions in your head between our races and build walls in your mind where there should be emptiness. Because the only way you can say you've chosen this path for yourself is if you choose it for pride. When you can say that you do it of your own will, not because you want to _become_ a Sanzo but because you _are_ a Sanzo, then you'll be ready to wear one of these scriptures. But I'll tell you right now that you'll be ready too late. You'll already be wearing one if the time ever comes."

"I understand," the youkai said, respect and ruefulness combined in his voice.

"Hmph. If you're still here tomorrow, we'll see how much you understand," Sanzo said, then glared over the youkai's shoulder to the stunned ranks behind the man.

"All right, all of you--get out of here. Go meditate or something. We're done for the day."

Not one of them dared to protest, but though there were some thoughtful and desperate looks on many faces, only the two--fuck, all right, _three_ \--that he had his eyes on looked particularly enlightened. Goku and Nataku remained behind, and it wasn't until the orchard was clear that he realized Nataku was sitting perfectly serene, regal even, with his sword lying across his thighs and a particularly angelic expression on his face.

Perhaps that had something to do with the quick and painless exodus--much wiser men than he would have fled that expression, too--and perhaps not. He wasn't in any mood to second-guess a miracle.

Goku didn't look angry anymore, at least, but he did look curious, and sometimes that was worse.

"Sanzo? What were the other reasons?"

"Contemplate them yourself if you would learn wisdom," he said, retrieving the three scriptures from the table and tucking them into his sleeve.

"What do I need to learn wisdom for? I don't want to be a monk," Goku countered reasonably--reasonably for him, anyway.

Sanzo pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, gritting his teeth, but he was learning to pick his battles these days. "So ask _him._ "

What did the monkey want, a signed confession?

"You think he'll be back?" Nataku asked, only a vague remnant of wariness in his voice.

"Yeah," Sanzo said, narrowing his eyes as he remembered the look on the youkai's face, like a condemned man offered a reprieve. Thinking, maybe, that there might be some future for youkai in this world after all. "Count on it."

Nataku and Goku exchanged glances, and Goku started to chuckle. "Heh. You're getting pretty good at this Sanzo thing."

"I should hope so," Sanzo growled, shaking his head. "It's not those idiots who're being tested."

Goku blinked. "Huh?"

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "If the Three Aspects wanted to, they could just make the chakra appear on the heads of the ones they wanted," he said, tapping his own brow. "This isn't about that. I got back my master's sutra--now I have to prove I'm worthy to keep it."

 _"Worthy?"_ Goku repeated, incredulous. "After all you've done--"

"Goku," Nataku said gently, scrambling up to lay a hand on Goku's shoulder. "It's all right. They only asked for _three_ new Sanzos, right?" he added, turning back to Sanzo. "So they must still think you're capable of carrying both."

"We're probably lucky they didn't ask for two candidates, or just one," Sanzo muttered darkly. "It means they think there's at least three people out there worth wasting the time on.

"Anyway, I'm sick of this place," he said, scowling at the archway waiting to let them back into the temple once more. "I'm going into town. It's been a while since we've seen the others, hasn't it?"

"Why don't you just say you're dying for a steak?" Nataku asked matter-of-factly, and Sanzo reached out and gave the long tail of his hair a quick tug. It was very soft under his fingers, and it was unexpectedly difficult to let go, let his hand fall to his side.

"Impious brat. Come on if you're coming. I think it's Hakkai's turn to cook."

***

"Gojyo, could you get the--"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got it," Gojyo said, dropping the butt of his cigarette into a mostly-empty bottle as he passed the bookshelf by the door. Hakkai would find both later--both the bottle on the shelf and the cigarette inside--and give him holy hell for it, but that was half the fun.

The knocking from the front door was threatening to turn into pounding at any moment, and if he hadn't been so certain he knew that knock, he'd already be hustling Hakkai out the back, just in case. Not that he'd _done_ anything--lately--but you never knew.

"Fuck, _what?"_ he yelled as he approached, and the knocking paused just long enough for him to throw back the deadbolt and yank the door open with a businesslike scowl.

It was the priest, all right, and he'd brought the whole zoo with him.

"Hey, it's the chimp and the shrimp!" Gojyo cried by way of greeting, grinning hugely. Then he got a better look at Nataku and whistled, impressed. "Make that a jumbo shrimp. _Hey, Hakkai!"_ he called over his shoulder. "Grab a skillet, we've got dinner!"

Nataku snickered at him, not put out in the least by Gojyo's teasing--or plotting revenge; you never knew with Nataku--but Sanzo snorted at him and thrust a bag at Gojyo's chest, waltzing right in like he owned the place.

" _We've_ got dinner," Sanzo said, "idiot. Take us to your kitchen, and nobody gets hurt."

"Dying for a steak, isn't he?" Gojyo asked the other two, and Nataku gave him a charming smile.

 _Damn_ , that kid had grown up. Nataku was probably fighting them off with a stick. No, wait, that would be Goku...and where did that put Sanzo in all this?

Gojyo could think of _one_ place, at least, and then he told himself firmly to stop thinking. Even Sanzo wasn't that kinky...was he? With Sanzo, it was hard to tell.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, coming out of the kitchen with a big knife in his hand. It was weird how Hakkai could make that look so domestic, but that was Hakkai for you. "And Goku and Nataku. It's so good to see you all," he added with a warm, genuine smile.

"Aw, Sanzo just wants you to cook for him," Gojyo scoffed, hefting the bag Sanzo had dumped on him. It looked like he had the one with all the actual food in it, because Goku was still carrying the beer. Sneaky priest.

"It'll be a pleasure to cook for someone who knows the difference between 'well-done' and 'burned,' actually," Hakkai said, and now his smile had glints in it.

"Just because I'm easy to please...."

"Oh, yes," Nataku said helpfully. "Just like Goku."

" _What?_ Don't compare me to that tasteless monkey, shrimp--he'd eat rocks, if you served them with rice!"

"Hey! Who are you calling tasteless, cockroach? You smoke so much, Hakkai could brew tea with one of your smelly old socks, and you wouldn't even notice the difference!"

"Ah...actually, Goku, I think that might kill him. You remember his socks, surely."

"Stop helping, Hakkai!"

Funny how the damnedest things could seem like home.

Sanzo eventually got pissed enough to get out the fan, and it was probably Gojyo's imagination, but it seemed to take longer than usual to get him to that point. Maybe the great Sanzo-sama was finally learning patience...or maybe those dark circles under his eyes weren't just because the monkey was keeping him up past his bedtime. Hakkai seemed to think it was the latter, because while the rest of them were still yelling--fine, while he and Goku were yelling and Nataku was practicing his innocent face while egging them on--Hakkai managed to steer a fuming Sanzo into the kitchen to 'help' him cook.

Twenty minutes later, they found Sanzo supervising from the kitchen table, an ashtray by his elbow and a drink in his hand, while Hakkai diced and sliced and regaled his audience of one with the joys of living in Chang'An. Gojyo had to admit that their new place was a hell of a lot better than his old one, but he still thought that moving to Chang'An was just asking for trouble. At least when they were half a day's walk away from Sanzo, the worthless priest couldn't send them on crazy missions five times a week.

Not that they'd heard from him _recently_ , of course...not in person, anyway. Still, Gojyo had to admit that the steady flow of jobs was good for the rent. Anyway, Jeep got bored when they were stuck at home too long.

Hakkai managed to get dinner on the table without Sanzo shooting anyone or falling asleep, and it was pretty damn funny watching the monkey and his sidekick mother-henning Sanzo into eating until he threatened to whack them both. It was a blatantly obvious team effort, each of them sitting on either side of him and sneaking things onto his plate whenever his attention wavered even minutely from attempting to catch them at it. It was probably a good thing that they weren't even trying to be covert about it, though, because an innocent look on Nataku was a pretty good indication that you should run for the hills, while Goku was beaming in the face of danger, too happy to hide it worth a damn.

They really were sickeningly sweet, but what the hell. It was Sanzo they had to make up for, after all.

"Enough about your neighbors," Sanzo said at last, giving Hakkai that look that meant he knew he was being distracted on purpose, thank you very much. And then he smacked Goku's hand without looking, just as Goku was helping a meat bun immigrate to the small mountain that had sprung up on Sanzo's plate. "What have you two been up to?"

Hakkai glanced at Goku's ruefully grinning face and smiled, enigmatic and serene. "Well, I've been volunteering at one of the local orphanages when we're home," he said, a faint line creasing his brows. "They've been getting a lot of youkai children lately, and their caretakers don't always seem to know how to relate to them."

It was pretty crazy, Gojyo knew, that Hakkai would be the one to say that, because of all of them, he was the one who had the fewest reasons to want to relate to youkai, kids or not. But maybe that was it right there--those kids were just kids, abandoned like Hakkai himself had been, and Hakkai was here, and he could help. Simple.

"Hmm. And you?"

"Oh, you know me," Gojyo said breezily, snagging his beer and leaning back, tipping his chair until the back hit the wall. "There's always a game on somewhere. What about you? Found anyone to take some of that weight off your shoulders?" he asked innocently, jerking his chin towards the scriptures resting there.

Sanzo was only wearing the two, of course, and he could watch Sanzo considering his words, wondering if Gojyo really had the balls--he did--to suggest that one of _Sanzo's scriptures_ might be too much for the man.

He was pretty sure he almost got shot at for old time's sake, except that Nataku chose that moment to replace Sanzo's half-empty bowl of spicy soup for his own full one, smiling prettily all the while.

Sanzo stared pointedly Heavenward, heaved a growling sigh, and muttered, "Might as well ask these idiots. They're always underfoot anyway."

"I still think I should've clobbered him, but I kinda liked the youkai," Goku said, throwing Sanzo an apologetic smile.

 _"Youkai?"_ Gojyo repeated, unable to quite believe his ears. Was the monkey trying to tell him that there'd been a youkai priest at the Sanzo convention?

"He was pretty good," Nataku agreed judiciously, "but I thought the kid with all the tattoos was cooler."

"And the geezer with the funny hair! You guys should come see it--he looks just like a yak!"

Hakkai arched his brows politely at Sanzo, who smirked without a word. Chuckling quietly, Hakkai said, "They're the ones you would have chosen, aren't they?"

"I told you they were underfoot."

"So?" Gojyo asked, glancing from Goku to Nataku and back. "What about you two? Is Sanzo driving you nuts yet?"

Goku snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Some of the priests can get snotty sometimes," Nataku elaborated, "but I think they're just jealous."

Jealous, huh? Gojyo took a good, long look at the three sitting across the table from him--Nataku with his aristocratic fineness; Sanzo intense and brooding and untouchable, even at his most relaxed; Goku with all his energy and eagerness to please--and grinned, slow and wicked. Oh, yeah.

He'd no more than opened his mouth to comment on that when he felt Hakkai's foot connect with his ankle under the table. Hard.

" _Fuh_ \--uh....that's great, then," he managed through gritted teeth and a smile. "Everybody's happy."

He got one of Sanzo's suspicious looks, but as a consolation prize, that wasn't too bad. Easier on the walls than a few bullets, anyway, and Hakkai was smiling his real smile again. Hakkai-smiles were _miles_ better than a consolation prize.

***

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a ride back?" Hakkai asked, Hakuryuu cheeping his willingness from the man's shoulder as they stood in the doorway.

"No, we're fine," Sanzo said, glancing up at the sky with half an eye. "It's a nice night."

"Yes," Hakkai said with a blink of surprise, "I suppose it is."

Sanzo gave the man a quizzical frown, but Hakkai just smiled at him in that way he sometimes did, like he was thinking to himself that Sanzo might just be okay after all.

Why was he constantly surrounded by idiots, anyway?

"Hmph. All right, you two. Let's get going. Later, Hakkai."

"'Sooner' would be preferable," Hakkai corrected him mildly. "Have a good evening, all of you."

"Bye, Hakkai! And thanks for dinner--it was awesome!"

"Good night, Hakkai! Good night, Smelly Sockroach!"

"Get out of here, shrimp, and take the monkey and the priest with you!"

"Kyuu!"

"Was that a 'yeah,' or a 'see you,' anyway?" Goku asked as they started off down the road, but Sanzo just shrugged. He left deciphering Hakuryuu to professionals.

"Do you think they're okay?" Nataku asked, a touch of worry in his voice. "They seemed pretty restless to me."

"Yeah, Sanzo--did you notice how they kept talking about Chang'An? It's like they _wanted_ to like staying here, so they were trying really hard...you know?"

"Yeah," Sanzo said, lighting a cigarette as he walked and sighing a curl of smoke into the dark. "If it was just Gojyo and Hakkai, they'd probably be all right in one place, but it's not just them. What good's having a dragon if he never takes you anywhere?"

"You think it's Jeep that's making them restless?" Goku asked uncertainly.

"In a way. If it was Gojyo, he'd stay. Hakkai and Jeep...they'd drive off one day and we'd never see them again. Since it's all three of them, though...." Sanzo walked a few more paces in silence, listening the way the Three Aspects had told him to do four years ago: with his heart, not his head. "They'll leave, but they'll come back."

None of them said anything for a while, threading the mostly-empty streets at the edge of town until they found the road that would take them back to the temple. The thought of it made Sanzo itch with restlessness himself, and he wondered if Hakkai knew that was why he'd turned down the offer of a ride. Not wanting to return to his own temple because of a pack of useless monks...no wonder Hakkai had been smiling. The bastard was probably laughing his ass off--inside, where you couldn't call him on it.

"Man," Goku said suddenly, kicking a stone out of his path. "I can't believe they're actually going. It'll be weird without them around."

"You could go with them," Sanzo offered neutrally, a rusty sense of fairness prodding him to make the gesture.

"Me?" Goku demanded, incredulous. "No way. I liked some things about traveling, sure," he admitted. "Like trying new food and stuff. That part was great. But...I don't know. Maybe someday I'd like to take another trip like that, but not now."

"What about you?" Sanzo asked, turning his head to glance at Nataku. They were walking beside him on the path, one on either side, and he realized that they did that without even thinking about it these days, as if they'd appointed themselves his honor guard. He felt the old anger stirring sluggishly, discovering an urge to knock their heads together and tell them he wasn't so weak he needed a pair of brats to guard him...but another part of him was darkly amused, simply because he wasn't that weak. He no longer had any doubts about his own strength, uniquely his.

Nataku tipped his face up to meet Sanzo's gaze, but he didn't have to tilt his head very far these days. "But I just got here," Nataku said reasonably. "I'm happy where I am. Besides...there's nowhere I want to go."

"That'll change," Sanzo said, certain of it. "Still...it'd be nice to take a break from this place...."

"Break? Ha! You just want to get away from all the monks," Goku said, grinning hugely. "Why don't you just pick those guys and be done with it? Then you could get sent off on weird missions like Hakkai and Gojyo again."

"Stupid monkey," Sanzo growled. "You want them to feel like they got it for free? Make them think they worked for it, and they'll appreciate it more."

"That sounds ominous," Nataku said, making his eyes go wide.

"Good."

The temple should have been peacefully asleep when they returned, but a few hopeful souls had apparently decided to impress Sanzo with their piety by chanting prayers in highly visible locations. Such as the quickest, most sensible paths back to his room. Gritting his teeth, he stalked past them without acknowledging a one, grudgingly relieved not to find any of the three he'd singled out among their ranks. Nataku and Goku dropped unobtrusively back a pace, but they followed him all the way back to his rooms, and he didn't kick the door shut in their faces once he got there, either.

Tugging the scriptures off his shoulders didn't change them, not when he only intended to drape them over the nearest chair for the rest of the night. The other three were kept under constant guard when he wasn't parading them before the faithful, and he knew his irreverent treatment of the two in his keeping would scandalize the temple, but they were _his_ , damn it, and he kept nothing by him that could be too easily broken.

Shedding the rest of his vestments in a heap, he stripped down to leather and his faded old jeans and made a determined beeline for the bed. Not to sleep, though, not just yet. Throwing himself down and dragging the pillows over his head was definitely a temptation, but he sat instead with his back to the headboard, one leg curled under him and one foot on the floor.

He'd barely cocked his brow at the other two before they piled on after him, both of them sitting closer than ever before. He supposed he needed to deal with this now, tonight, but even so....

"I swear, those idiots are going to drive me insane," he found himself saying, but all he got were pricked ears and commiserating expressions, not a trace of disappointment or impatience from either one. "I think tomorrow I'm going to give them a test of will," he added, deciding once the words were out of his mouth that it sounded like a _very_ good idea.

"I thought that was what you'd been doing all along," Nataku mused.

Goku's laugh had a touch of vindictive satisfaction in it usually reserved for youkai he'd trounced after they'd interrupted a meal. "Yeah, but this time they're really going to get it. I think he's starting to have fun with this," Goku confided to Nataku, who nodded wisely.

"It certainly looks that way to _me._ "

"Hmph."

Nataku chuckled, but he tilted his head curiously, a faint smile tugging at his mouth. "So why didn't you ever take any disciples, Sanzo? Then you'd have someone to terrorize all day long."

"Why should I?" Sanzo countered. "I've got a pair of stupid monkeys for that."

Nataku's eyes went wide and defenseless, but so _happy_ you'd think he'd just been named Emperor of Heaven. It amazed Sanzo that being called by Goku's nickname could make anyone so overjoyed. Who knew?

Goku just laughed, reaching over to poke Nataku in the side to make him squirm. "I dunno...Nataku's more of a dragon, if you ask me. Don't you think he acts like Hakuryuu, Sanzo? He's definitely got the wings for it," Goku added, tugging at Nataku's voluminous sleeves.

Nataku sniffed with massive dignity and a haughty smile. "At least dragons know how to dress... _monkey!"_

"Dragon!"

"Monkey!"

The mock shouting match turned into a wrestling match in short order, Goku trying to get Nataku in a headlock while Nataku tried to suffocate Goku with his sleeves. They'd probably break the bed if they kept it up too long, but even while they were rolling around like a pair of puppies, they were careful not to hit him with all their flailing.

It was good to see Goku's relaxed grin as he tussled with someone who could hold his own, and Nataku's open laughter transformed him into someone as carefree and young as he looked, erasing long years of caution in an instant. The affection between them was plainly obvious, and it struck him that it was just like what Goku felt for him, an intrinsic part of them both. The only thing that was confusing was that Nataku had apparently decided that he, Sanzo, was worthy of the same.

And what did the fact that he even needed to consider his answer say about what _he_ wanted?

As revelations went, this one wasn't as earthshaking as others, and it made him feel like saying: _'Of course, I knew that.'_ Only he hadn't known, or hadn't let himself think about it, until now. Goku's blind devotion had always bothered him, not because he didn't feel worthy of it--worth rarely entered into it when someone decided to love you--but because he didn't have anything to give in return. It was why he'd never taken a disciple, why he hated being asked to hold forth on the teachings, why the faith that had grown in Nataku's wary stare until it eclipsed everything else made some cowardly part of him wish the kid had stayed a kid.

Whatever had drawn Goku and Nataku to him, it was probably just the reflection of their own needs...but he knew he'd take what they offered. He didn't have to understand it, because he wouldn't try to keep them if they changed their minds. If it happened, he would deal with it. They all made their own decisions and lived with what came after as best they could, and right now he chose _this._

"Watching you two is making me tired," he said, shaking his head. Nataku gave him an innocent look, removing his knee from Goku's spine, and Goku propped his cheek up on his fist with a breathless grin.

"Does that mean you're feeling old, Sanzo?"

"Idiot. I'm going to bed."

He didn't say anything else, and he could see them waiting for it, for him to tell them to find someone else's bed to destroy or somewhere else to be. When he just looked back at them expectantly, Goku pushed himself up casually, his smile incandescent.

"Yeah? That sounds good," the monkey said, which was practically a given.

It was Nataku's shy nod that changed everything, his bright eyes watching Sanzo solemnly. "Yes," Nataku agreed and made no move to leave.

"You sure?" Sanzo asked, for much the same reason he'd asked Goku earlier if he wanted to go.

Nataku nodded again, more firmly this time, and his voice lacked any trace of doubt when he replied. "Completely."

A slow half-smile spread across Sanzo's face, and even that didn't change Nataku's mind. "Then come here."

Nataku had been sitting back on his heels, but now he knelt up obediently to shift closer, unsure of himself but trusting. The uncertainty was surprising, because he would have thought that Goku would have shown him _something_ , but when Sanzo leaned forward to meet him, Nataku gave him a wide-eyed stare that convinced Sanzo this was entirely new.

Sliding his hand around Nataku's nape and under the heavy fall of his hair, Sanzo ran his thumb over the curve of Nataku's jaw as he brushed their lips together, easy at first and then more demanding. Whatever weird shit Nataku's father had gotten up to, at least it hadn't included _this_ , because the flick of Sanzo's tongue against his lips made Nataku's breath catch in his chest, made him lean closer still. When Sanzo kissed him more deeply, Nataku's mouth opened sweetly to him, and the soft, surprised sound he made woke a flare of heat in Sanzo.

Nataku's eyes were dazed and wondering when Sanzo pulled away from him at last, more violet than blue. A happy sigh distracted Sanzo from smug contemplation of Nataku's awed face, and he glanced over to find Goku beaming at them like he'd orchestrated the entire thing himself.

Arching a brow at Goku, Sanzo slid his eyes over to Nataku and back, expectantly.

He hadn't expected that Goku's smile could actually widen, but it did.

"Um. Nataku?"

Nataku turned his head and blinked, but by then Goku was right there, leaning in to give him a bashful peck on the lips. Nataku stared at him incredulously, which made the corners of Goku's eyes crinkle up in silent laughter. "Just checking!" Goku said lightly, and this time when he kissed Nataku, it was with all the enthusiasm he'd devote to a ten-course meal.

Sanzo waited for it to feel weird, for jealousy or possessiveness to take over and make him feel left out. This was Goku, after all. Goku whose mouth was locked with another's, eyes closed to better _feel_ it, humming a pleased, hungry sound as Nataku's hands fisted on his shirt. It seemed like they wouldn't ever come up for air, but the only impatience Sanzo felt was the kind that made him want to tug open the buttons of his jeans and work ahead of the class.

Nataku looked like he'd discovered a whole new world when Goku let him go at last, and Sanzo smirked with half-lidded eyes when Nataku turned back to him in a daze and said, _"Again."_

So Sanzo kissed him again, found out that Nataku was a quick learner, and decided that the only one even considering taking things slow here was him--and he wasn't that interested in it, either. Hooking a finger in the sash of Nataku's robes, he tugged meaningfully until Nataku got the hint and moved to untie it himself. Nataku's fingers were hesitant, though, and when Sanzo slid a hand inside, pushing the cloth from one shoulder as he ran his palm along the smooth muscle of Nataku's chest, he saw Nataku's eyes waver and fall, faint hints of color staining pale cheeks.

"Sorry," Nataku muttered, half under his breath. "I know I look weird...."

"No you don't," Sanzo said and kissed the shoulder he'd uncovered, its unusual jointing much less noticeable now that Nataku had grown up and filled out.

Nataku's breath stilled with a hitch, but he tipped his head back trustingly as Sanzo mouthed his way up the side of Nataku's neck. When Sanzo ran his hands down Nataku's sides, they ran into Goku's on the way. Eyes cutting to the right, he found Goku grinning at him from over Nataku's shoulder, an eager accomplice as they stripped Nataku down to the skin between them. Nataku barely noticed at first, and Goku seemed to find that incredibly entertaining until Sanzo leaned over and kissed him too, reminding him that he wasn't immune.

Goku's kisses were sweet and a little wild, always hungry for more. Fingers threaded through his hair at the same time would make him purr, and he was purring now, one arm sliding around Nataku from behind as he leaned closer.

Pressed between them, Nataku dipped his head and rubbed his cheek against Sanzo's shoulder, his face buried in Sanzo's neck, the fingertips of one hand skating lightly over leather. "Sanzo...can I...?"

The question only made sense when he felt a finger tracing the line between leather and skin, and his voice came out husky and low when he caught his breath at last. "Whatever you want."

First went the long arm guards, sliding off like peeling out of a second skin, and then the other two attacked the rest with such enthusiasm, he sighed and left them to it. Nataku watched in open fascination as Sanzo braced his arms and lifted his hips so Goku could slide his pants down and off, and Sanzo grabbed for Goku's shirt, giving Nataku time to look his fill. There was nothing special about him, just muscle and bone held together by scars, but there was no accounting for taste. Goku would probably give him hell over starving himself if he didn't distract the monkey, and yanking that irritating shirt off over his head was as good a way as any.

"Pushy, pushy," Goku teased as he slithered out of his clothes.

"You're one to talk."

A hand on his chest captured his attention instantly, and he looked back to find Nataku eyeing him curiously, running his fingers lightly over Sanzo's skin. The muscles in his stomach tensed as Nataku's touch wandered lower, Goku hooking his chin over Nataku's shoulder to watch. Goku's encircling arm shifted, and then his hand was moving too, mirroring everything Nataku did to Sanzo on Nataku himself.

Nataku's eyes flicked up briefly, but he didn't hesitate or ask before taking Sanzo in hand. Breathing in slowly through clenched teeth, Sanzo half-closed his eyes as Nataku's curled fingers tightened, shifted, sliding up and back down again. Nataku's gasp made him force his eyes open, and he saw Goku's dark head bent to Nataku's neck, his strong, square hand fisting Nataku in steady strokes.

Sanzo pulled them both down after that, and they lay on their sides in a tangle of limbs, their legs braided together as hands and mouths found anchors. Nataku's touch grew more confident as Sanzo kissed him breathless, Nataku rocking his hips up into Goku's palm and leaning back against the monkey's chest. Sanzo drew his nails down Goku's side to get his attention, got a hand in, and watched Goku's eyes flutter shut as he thrust into Sanzo's fist. Then it was all a confusion of motion until he heard Goku growl and Nataku cry out, and he pressed his brow against Nataku's and shuddered in silence as his spine turned liquid and fire exploded across his nerves.

When he could think again, he opened his eyes to Nataku's overwhelmed face and smiled, smug and satiated.

"Oh," Nataku murmured almost to himself. "I should have grown up _ages_ ago."

Goku's laughter was muffled against Nataku's nape, making Nataku shiver ticklishly. "No way," Goku protested cheerfully. "Then you wouldn't have had us!"

"Who'd wait for a stupid monkey?"

"Another stupid monkey, that's who!"

Sanzo could easily remember a time when his life--or at least his bed--had been quite extraordinarily quiet. Oddly, he didn't miss those years as much as he'd expected.

"Will you two shut up? Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Heh. Grumpy."

"Damn monkeys."

***

Nataku had grown used to waking to the warmth of another person since coming to the mortal world, whether it was Goku's boneless sprawl or being captured by Sanzo's wandering hands. It didn't seem strange at all to wake with Sanzo's chest at his back, his head pillowed on Goku's shoulder. He didn't wonder what had awakened him until he realized that Sanzo was awake as well, and he rolled his head to peer over his shoulder, smiling a hesitant 'good morning.'

Sanzo was watching them both with a considering look that, for a moment, sent a cold ripple of panic down Nataku's spine. Had Sanzo thought better of things and decided he'd made a mistake?

Before Nataku's imagination could run away with him, Sanzo propped his head up on one fist and reached out, running the tips of two fingers down a long, pale scar that bisected Nataku's chest from his shoulder almost to his sternum. It was so old it was almost invisible, but Sanzo's eyes picked it out unerringly and rose calmly to meet his.

"This wasn't Goku's fault," the man asked quietly, "was it?"

Nataku had no idea how Sanzo had known that this particular scar was the one, had no clue how much the man remembered--how much he _could_ remember--or what had made him ask. All he could do was answer with the truth, as certain now as he had been five hundred years ago when he drove his own sword into his body to avoid the one order he couldn't obey.

"No," he said, surprised to find that he was able to smile when he said it. "It wasn't Goku's fault."

Goku snorted and scrunched his face, waking groggily at the sound of his name. "Huh? Sanzo?"

Sanzo's thoughtful smile softened for a moment, and Nataku wondered if the man had any clue he could look like that, even briefly.

"Yeah," Sanzo said. "Wake up, monkey."

"Huh?"

And before Nataku had any idea what the man was going to do, Sanzo reached past him, ran his fingers briefly through Goku's hair, and pulled off Goku's limiter.

Nataku went stiff with shock as he watched Goku's eyes roll back, and his first instinct was to push Sanzo off the bed, push the man behind him, to put himself between this suicidal priest and the consequences. All he could think of was Kanzeon Bosatsu's warning, that losing Sanzo would unhinge Goku for good, and it would be all his fault, just like last time.

Goku was growling through shudders, half-curled as he transformed into his true shape, but even now he seemed half-asleep, not entirely certain where he was. That confusion was probably the only thing that saved them, because Nataku was only Goku's match when Goku was safely contained. In just a moment, all that would change.

"Hey, monkey."

 _Oh gods, be **quiet,**_ Nataku yelled in his mind, the only place where it was safe, because now Sanzo had Goku's attention, gold eyes sharpening with frightening intensity. _Don't make him hurt you, Sanzo, please...._

If Sanzo could hear him the way he'd once heard Goku, the man was ignoring him.

"How long are you going to live in the past?" Sanzo asked, his voice conversational and unworried, and Goku....

Goku blinked, startled, pupils narrowing to paper-thin slits as his eyes went wide. Goku was staring at _him_ , and then his gaze shifted back to Sanzo, recognition lighting in their depths. Nataku had to bite his lip to keep from yelling at them both as he watched sense come creeping back into Goku's face, just like he was waking from a different sleep entirely.

"San...zo?"

"Aren't you ready to come out of that cave yet?" Sanzo asked, and all once, it was only Goku there, claws and all.

"Yeah," Goku managed, his voice raw and shaking, like his smile. "Yeah, I am."

**Epilog**

Even after Jeep had vanished over the last hill, Goku sat on the temple steps, his arms wrapped around his knees, staring off in the direction his friends had gone. Gojyo had had them all laughing when he told the story, but he'd been hurt pretty bad this time, and if it weren't for Hakkai.... Well, Gojyo would be fine, of course, but he wasn't getting any younger.

No. Goku wasn't going to think about that. Five years wasn't really that long a time, not even for a human...right?

He didn't lift his chin from his knees when Nataku sat down beside him, but he sighed deeply, which was as good as an invitation as far as Nataku was concerned. Of course, so was silence. Nataku was pretty cavalier about that sort of thing.

"What's up?"

"Do you ever wish they'd said yes?" Goku asked without taking his eyes from the road. "When the Three Aspects gave them the choice."

Nataku was silent for a moment, but his voice when he answered was matter-of-fact. He'd probably thought about it all already and gotten it straight in his head years ago. "I don't know. I mean...if they became gods again they'd have to go live in Heaven, and then we wouldn't get to see them."

"But you live here," Goku protested, lifting his head at last.

"I'm an embarrassment," Nataku said calmly, holding Goku's eyes. "They'd rather forget I ever existed. But Sanzo and the others...." His voice trailed off pensively, and Goku knew then that Nataku _had_ thought about it and probably hadn't liked where his thoughts had taken him. "I think they could have done a lot of good in Heaven," Nataku said at last. "I just don't know if they would have been happy there. Not anymore."

"Yeah, but...Sanzo...it's just.... He's going to die, eventually. They all are. But I don't know if we will."

"Are you going to want to?" Nataku asked after a moment, and Goku could see the sick worry staring out at him from Nataku's calm mask, a look that said Nataku was terrified of the very thought...but that he'd understand it if Goku said yes.

"Maybe. I don't know. You see...they might come back, too. And if they did...maybe we could find them."

"Find him."

"Yeah. I mean, he heard me once, right? Maybe I'll be able to hear him the next time."

He could tell that the idea had never occurred to Nataku before by the way his face lit up with relief and resolve. Because yeah, the world was a huge place, and there were so many people you could never count them all, which made finding one person's soul again impossible at best...if you only had five senses to go on. Goku had something better, and now that he wasn't afraid to take off his limiter, he could probably hone it even sharper if he had to.

Nodding decisively, Nataku said, "All right. If he goes...we'll look for him. And we'll keep searching until we find him."

"Promise?" Goku couldn't help asking, shrugging sheepishly at Nataku's forgiving smile.

"Promise."

***

Genjo had been sweeping the front steps of the inn when the two guests returned that morning, looking worn-out and frustrated until they saw him standing there. His master-- _Owner_ , he thought to himself with a private sneer; that man was _not_ his master--liked to keep him out of the way of the guests as much as possible, but he still had to earn his keep. It was usually safer to have him work during the day, while most of the guests were asleep or absent, so he wondered if he was going to catch hell for causing a disturbance this time.

Not that it was his fault. _He_ didn't know what made the two strangers stop and stare, not like they thought he was going to be easy meat, but like they'd seen a ghost. He'd noticed them the day before when they arrived, mostly because he'd thought one of them was an old man, what with all that silver hair, and he'd taken the other one for the old man's servant at first. A little more study showed that they were both only a few years older than he was--maybe eighteen, maybe nineteen--and despite the way the dark-haired one dressed, they were traveling as equals.

When Genjo began to scowl, the not-so-old-after-all one had grabbed his companion by the arm and started dragging, but gold eyes had remained fixed on Genjo until the door of the inn shut between them. It had seemed like a bad omen at the time, but now Genjo wasn't so sure.

They'd requested Genjo specifically when they asked the innkeeper for someone to guide them through the city, and apparently they were rich enough to overcome the man's misgivings. Genjo's owner had tried to warn them that he wasn't 'used to' dealing with guests, warnings that had involved covert hints at first that escalated into outright pleading and ended in oracular predictions of doom and destruction. By then Genjo had been called in to wait, and listening to his owner wash his hands of the whole thing, he'd smiled to himself, only the corners of his mouth turning up in a cold, hard smirk.

Instead of worrying the guests with that expression, they'd looked so wistful he'd arched a quizzical brow at them, and that made Gold-Eyes grin. The next thing he knew, the three of them were out the door, leaving the innkeeper's dire wailing behind.

That had been hours ago, and now here he was, introducing two of the strangest people he'd ever met to the largest open market in Shangri-La, maybe even the world.

The one he'd learned was called Goku was easily distracted by the food stalls, and Nataku--the one with the old man hair--just grinned when Genjo got impatient over it. Neither of them seemed offended by his bluntness, and it was easy to forget after a while that he was in for a royal thrashing when they returned. It wouldn't matter to his owner whether the guests were offended or not; the idiot would take it as a matter of course that they _should_ be and thrash him anyway. Genjo didn't care. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Is that a shrine over there?" Nataku asked, nodding to gaudy-fronted building across the square while Goku rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," Genjo said with a shrug. "It belongs to the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. Or maybe the God. We get a lot of foreigners here, and some of them think Kanzeon is a man, and some of them call hir Guanyin and think se's a woman. I figure se's probably both, though."

"Why's that?" Goku asked, an almost disbelieving smile stretching his mouth.

"Because mercy and compassion are opposites, right?" Genjo snapped defensively. "And anyway, why not?"

"You're a bright one," Nataku said, thumping Goku almost absently. "Why were you sweeping the steps when we arrived?"

"Because I'm lousy with the guests," Genjo said with a shrug. What, had they thought the innkeeper was joking? "Some of them think they can buy the servants too, just because we're slaves, only I'll thrash anyone who tries it. I thrashed that idiot who used to help in the stables," he added darkly, "and broke three of his fingers, too." Just remembering it made him smirk in satisfaction.

Goku laughed at that, though he'd seemed oddly tense before. "That's our Sanzo!"

"Huh?" Genjo asked, staring at the man. How had he known Genjo had been named for a priest nearly fifteen years dead?

Nataku thumped his friend again, and this time Goku yelped. "Never mind him," Nataku said sweetly, his eyes dancing with suppressed laughter. "You remind us of someone we used to know, that's all. But tell me something. If _we_ were to buy you--permanently--would you like to come with us?"

Genjo eyed him for a long moment, playing that over in his head a second time. "Are you some kind of pervert?" he asked at last.

His face perfectly serene, Nataku flipped his hand out, a paper fan appearing as if by magic out of his sleeve, and then he rapped Genjo lightly over the head with it.

Goku's eyes went very, very wide, and he clapped both hands over his mouth as if torn between shock and hilarity.

 _"Ow!"_ Genjo protested, though it hadn't really hurt. He got the feeling that it _could_ have, though, and that Nataku was a lot stronger than he looked. "I was just _asking._ "

"I've always wanted to do that," Nataku said mildly as if to himself.

"You _are_ a pervert," Genjo accused, keeping one eye on Nataku's fan hand.

Nataku just smiled. "So?"

That made him pause, because that wasn't Nataku admitting something, that was Nataku asking, politely, for an answer. So? Did he want to go with them? Did it matter whether Nataku was a pervert or not? Because-- _So?_ \--did he _trust_ them? Could he?

It wasn't like his life at the inn was all that great, the gods knew. Eventually his owner would get tired of thrashing him and sell him, and he had no illusions as to where he'd end up if he didn't run first. Even so, he'd have to be crazy to take a chance on two complete strangers, right?

Except that something in him was screaming at him that he'd be a fool not to, and that voice had never steered him wrong. That part of him wanted to say yes, to jump at the offer, desperately...only he'd never asked for anything in his life. Not ever.

They didn't seem to be in any hurry, though, and they watched him as if they were prepared to wait a year if they had to, patient as stone. Nataku's kind face was altogether surreal, outside his comprehension entirely to have that look aimed at him, but Goku's palpable excitement was another matter. That guy looked like he was going to explode at any second, like the only thing that kept him stationary was that he was honestly looking forward to what Genjo would say, and while that was weird, it was also something you couldn't fake. Goku was as honest as a kid, and if he was asking the same thing....

"Fine," Genjo muttered, scowling at them both. "Just don't get any ideas, or I'll thrash you, too."

"Of course," Nataku agreed complacently, his smile growing slowly into a full-fledged grin.

Goku let out a whoop that startled passersby, throwing his fist into the air. "All _right!_ We are going to have _so_ much fun! Hey, Genjo--have you ever ridden a dragon?" he asked, his gold eyes brilliant, like the sun. "'Cause we know this old guy back in Chang'An, and I bet he'd love to meet you."


End file.
